Has Anyone Minimized Your Diagnosis?
Have you ever felt like someone has minimized your cancer experience?
How so? How did you respond?
Absolutely. And this person continues to do so. The initial comment was "you have leukemia? Well don't overdramatize the situation." Another comment was, "plenty of people get that and they get over it." Not to mention the many times I was asked, "aren't you done with that yet?"
I learned to respond by explaining to the latter question about the "chronic," part of CML. I was too shocked for the overdramatizing remark at the time but now I'll just say it is not a walk in the park.
I now just smile and say " I just bet you would not want to trade places with me" Dennis(Blood-Cancer.com TEAM) 
Yes. If I ever talk about planning for the future with the unknowns of cancer, people say "None of us knows how much time we have left! I could get hit by a bus tomorrow!". I say, yes that's true for me too - but I have a deadly disease and you don't. I have also learned not to bring this up anymore.
A good friend reacted to my blood cancer diagnosis by saying, "My friend had cancer and she fell down on the sidewalk and had to be taken to the ER! Someone had to pick her daughter up from school!" I learned afterward that a mutual friend scolded her and told her she was unfamiliar with my particular cancer and was minimizing my situation.
People are more familiar with cancer diagnoses which involve immediate surgery, radiation, chemo, etc. They don't understand watch and wait or taking oral chemo every day for the rest of your life, which is my situation.
I've really learned it's best not to talk about it.
I have had people respond with that, “none of us know how much time we have”, the whole, “ I could get hit by a bus tomorrow”…
I have also have the same people say, “We all have issues we are dealing with”…
I am not asking for pity, but maybe a little tiny bit of empathy for another human.
The fear and anxiety I experience is a lot! Luckily I found someone through an organization who I can talk to who has been through what I am going through now. She has been a life saver!
Also meeting you all here! This helps!
We are so happy you've found other means of connecting with a familiar community that has an openness to share all experiences. The lack of empathy makes you wonder- why is it some people lose their inner connection to be kind and care is beyond me. We're happy you're here and thank you for sharing as I'm sure others can relate. Wishing you all the very best!
Yolanda (Team Member)
Sometimes it's just because they feel awkward and don't know what to say.
Minimizing it, might make them feel better.
I don't hold anything against anyone. I do my best to ignore it's there. I also do my best to minimize it myself.
I certainly don't have to look far to find many far worse off than I.
Seems there's a lot of friends no longer around and a lot of friends missing loved ones.
Might be a thing that happens at age 62 and older.
The class reunions are getting smaller
Minimizing it can make some people feel better about it somehow. If we minimize it then it doesn't hold as much power over us. I think I understand what you mean. It's not a conversation everyone is willing to have. Maybe we need to respect that too. As you say, there is so much loss. Thanks for that perspective. It gave me something to think about and things sure can be complicated.
