Has Anyone Minimized Your Diagnosis?
Have you ever felt like someone has minimized your cancer experience?
How so? How did you respond?
Absolutely. And this person continues to do so. The initial comment was "you have leukemia? Well don't overdramatize the situation." Another comment was, "plenty of people get that and they get over it." Not to mention the many times I was asked, "aren't you done with that yet?"
I learned to respond by explaining to the latter question about the "chronic," part of CML. I was too shocked for the overdramatizing remark at the time but now I'll just say it is not a walk in the park.It is difficult when no one around you seems to understand what it happening. It happens to everyone, you are not alone. Even my mom who is super understand has had times when she was like "just do this" or "just do that," and it was like, really? I totally understand, and it can be draining. Just know you can always come here and we really get it. It may even be worth checking for support groups in your area if and when you have the energy. More than likely those people there would get it as well! Keep on keepin' on, DPM I have Myeloma. I'm apparently lucky because I've never received the responses I'm seeing here, but I also see a puzzled look on people's faces occasionally when I tell them what I have. I don't have time nor the desire to deal with comments like the ones some of you have heard. I'm not too sure how I'd handle it...I don't want to say something "not nice" back, but it may depend on my mood that day....and that does fluctuate as we all know. Hmmm....I don't really know w/o experiencing it.
I now just smile and say " I just bet you would not want to trade places with me" Dennis(Blood-Cancer.com TEAM) I suffer from all of those. Didn't realize it was a side effect (I have MM) Don't get the hot flashes or dry eyes...well, I do get dry eyes but I figured it was from cataract surgery. Insomnia? Once off the DEX that got 99% better. Fatigue? Oh yea!
Yes. If I ever talk about planning for the future with the unknowns of cancer, people say "None of us knows how much time we have left! I could get hit by a bus tomorrow!". I say, yes that's true for me too - but I have a deadly disease and you don't. I have also learned not to bring this up anymore.
A good friend reacted to my blood cancer diagnosis by saying, "My friend had cancer and she fell down on the sidewalk and had to be taken to the ER! Someone had to pick her daughter up from school!" I learned afterward that a mutual friend scolded her and told her she was unfamiliar with my particular cancer and was minimizing my situation.
People are more familiar with cancer diagnoses which involve immediate surgery, radiation, chemo, etc. They don't understand watch and wait or taking oral chemo every day for the rest of your life, which is my situation.
I've really learned it's best not to talk about it.same here. Are you able to communicate and share your journey with any of the people you've met who also have ET?
Angie (Team Member)"People are more familiar with cancer diagnoses which involve immediate surgery," I think this has 'a lot' to do with it. If you've been through a transplant as I have you can run with the "17 days in the hospital with blood counts that almost zero out"...but some people are dense and may figure you're all done at that point.
Sometimes it's just because they feel awkward and don't know what to say.
Minimizing it, might make them feel better.
I don't hold anything against anyone. I do my best to ignore it's there. I also do my best to minimize it myself.
I certainly don't have to look far to find many far worse off than I.
Seems there's a lot of friends no longer around and a lot of friends missing loved ones.
Might be a thing that happens at age 62 and older.
The class reunions are getting smallerMinimizing it can make some people feel better about it somehow. If we minimize it then it doesn't hold as much power over us. I think I understand what you mean. It's not a conversation everyone is willing to have. Maybe we need to respect that too. As you say, there is so much loss. Thanks for that perspective. It gave me something to think about and things sure can be complicated. My best friend ran away like I was cursed or something
