The Wave
I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma on February 21, 2019. As I sat there in the treatment room alone; for my oncologist/hematologist had just dropped this on me: I remember looking into the mirror that was in the treatment room. A ton of emotions hit me like a tidal wave. What gushed through my mind were thoughts of those I loved one, and the promises I made to them....so I began to weep.
After about 5 minutes, got myself together, and my doctor came back into the room and asked Mr. Cunningham what do you want to do; for he had given me the statistics and Treatment options; my response was let’s go for it.
Starting chemotherapy
March 21, I began an aggressive chemo regiment; with the aim towards Stem Cell Transplant. This will occur on August 8.
But what I wish to share a little bit about the emotional part of this journey.
First of all, I’ve been the one that everyone would come to for struggles of life that they experienced, and through the gifting of our Heavenly Creator, was able to empathize with them and help them overcome those moments when things seem bleak for them.
I’ve spent the last 120 days looking for the same level of empathy that I showed to others...but have come to the conclusion that is not possible and I’m good with that because what I give out is truly a gift. So instead of withdrawing as I did, I’ve obtained more strength by being who I am and being a blessing to others.
Surfing the wave, holding onto the board
However, I have my moments of which I liken them to a wave that I surf. The wave sometimes gets bigger and bigger, so what I do is lay down on the surfboard and hold on tight. I understand that sooner or later that big wave will reach land, eventually, so until land is reached I hold on to the board.
Now here is the crazy thing...
When I eventually reach dry land, two seconds later I find myself surfing another wave.
Embracing the fact that I have blood cancer
From the onset I embraced the fact that I have blood cancer....so I ride the board...the board represents whatever is utilized that provides positive strength, healing, support to get one through. The wave represents the overwhelming emotions that usually flows out through tears.
So my friends...
Don’t fight what you feel; journal, seek out support groups, etc. and ride.
Join the conversation