2018 Round Up

Well, what a year it has been! Sitting here now at the end of December, I can’t quite believe it is what it is. And how much has happened. And amazingly, it’s all ended on a positive note!

Ending the year on a high note

This time last year, I was miserable. Exhausted. Really struggling with life. Just getting by. Both with energy levels and financially. With a possible stem cell transplant decision to make.  I wasn’t happy with anything much in all honesty. I felt very alone and had the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Today, I feel completely different! I have energy on treatment for the first time in nearly 12 years. My bank account is the healthiest it has been in a very long time! Work in the week before Christmas was the busiest it’s been and, in the couple of weeks leading up to Christmas, I had more work inquiries from the internet that I have ever had!

I also don’t feel completely alone either. For the last year, there has been someone that has made a huge difference.

I'm back, and there are babies!

Even though I have felt like me again for around 3 months, it’s still sinking in that this is really me. My friends can’t believe it. One of them said to me just before Christmas that seeing me how I am now, they can’t begin to imagine how awful it’s been for me. I suppose, as I got used to how I was before, they got used to how I was, too.

They had forgotten who I really am. To hear it acknowledged is actually pretty amazing for me. They can now begin to understand how hard it’s all been for me and the impact that the drugs have had. Until now. This, in a way, makes it all worth it. I used to get upset that no one really got it. But now... well, they can see the difference.

There have also been 2 new babies in the family this year. And there is nothing better than newborn cuddles. Especially when they are your family. I take my aunt duties very seriously! I love being an aunt and knowing that they are in my life forever.

Paw prints on my heart

I have also had the most wonderful chocolate Labrador keeping me company most work days this year. And even on my worst days, when I couldn’t think straight or know how I would find the energy to do anything, I would make sure he got a walk. And even though I had to bully myself every step of the way, it was worth it.

Getting that exercise every day has also helped me. I love the walk we do when I have him and looking at the buildings, trees, and flowers along the way. Seeing how they change over the seasons, and then to get the cuddles from the dog, well, it’s been pretty amazing.

Looking forward to the new year

Thinking back to a year ago, I could never in a million years have guessed where I would be today. I thought I would be in recovery from my transplant now. Or in the treatment cycle leading up to it. Whilst I know if that had happened, I would have approached it in the most positive way possible, I am, however, eternally grateful to my consultant for not giving up on me and getting me access to this new drug.

I am also genuinely looking forward to NYE for once in my life. For the first time since a teenager, I won’t be that person on their own and surrounded by couples. I will have that someone with me.

So, whilst 2018 has had its horrific parts. It’s dark days. It’s time where I had had enough and couldn’t imagine how I was going to carry on. It’s also been magical. And it has given me my life back. I hope the year 2019 just gets better.