No one really understands what Blood Cancer (Essential Thrombosytosis} is all about. The difficult part is that I never know when I can participate in activities or not. In addition, I have Fibromyalgia and a back problem that cannot be resolved at my age of 85+. I just enjoy the the good days/weeks and meditate during the trying time. My prayers are very calming and help me keep from getting anxious and/or depressed. I have friends, who are much worse off than I am. I pray for them and I am thankful I am not in their shoes. I just lost a wonderful girlfriend last November, who died of Pancreatic Cancer. She was so brave during the year and one-half that she lived after her diagnosis. Another friend who had a severe stoke. She cannot speak and is paralyzed on her right side and is unrecognizable from her former self. Now, they, had something to be be anxious and depressed with their situations. I feel lucky. They were both a year or two younger than me.