Using Values to Navigate Life Transitions After a Cancer Diagnosis

A cancer diagnosis is a definitive change catalyst. After receiving their news, patients often find their lives bouncing through tumultuous change, particularly at the very beginning of their cancer journeys. Finding one’s way through life transitions can be difficult. It can also, however, be rewarding.

What makes life important?

At a recent patient support group meeting I attended, the facilitator addressed the topic by asking, “What makes life important to you?” Her aim was to get group members to identify those slices of life that truly make life worth living.

Over the course of our discussion, though, some patients focused on important parts of their pre-diagnosis lives that cancer had, at least for the moment and foreseeable future, taken away. Others identified parts of their lives they cherished before their diagnosis and still cherish and hold onto dearly.

Our entire discussion got me thinking about the question a little differently. I thought about values, how they sometimes shift over time, and how they provide a foundation for building a life of fulfillment.

Seek value-consistent behavior

As defined by Oxford Languages, values are “a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.” Values are at the core of a person’s belief system, and they often influence a person’s thoughts and behaviors.

When a person behaves consistently with their values, they often feel a sense of inner peace, calmness, contentment, satisfaction, and fulfillment. For example, if a person values family and they arrange their life to optimize their time spent with their children and spouse, they often find themselves at peace.

Value-consistent behaviors are believed to provide a number of benefits, including:

• Improved well-being
• Enhanced self-concept
• Reduced risk of mood disorders
• Increased meaningfulness of life
• Better alignment with personal goals

Behaviors, however, don’t always align with values, and value conflicts can be the source of turmoil within an individual. When a person acts contrary to their internal values, they can experience an inner conflict, and manifest the opposite feelings of a value-consistent behavior.

For instance, in the example above, a person might value family, but find themselves over-extended in their job, spending more time at work and less time with family. The result is increased stress, frustration, perhaps even guilt, and they find themselves far from satisfaction and inner peace.

Identifying and defining my values

Twenty-four years ago, I went through an exercise to identify and define my values. Through that process, I came up with the following, and very much in a particular order:

• Family
• Friends
• Fun
• Fitness
• Education
• Challenge

Over those ensuing years, my values have remained consistent, and they’ve stayed in the same order of importance.

After sharing my values with others, I sometimes get inquiries as to where work and my professional life fits in. I respond with, “Everywhere.”

I look for professional opportunities where my team of collaborators are very much my friends, sometimes such close friends as to border on being family. I look for fun work environments that challenge me, and I strive to continually learn. When I’ve got the right job with the right people, work is very consistent with my values of friends, fun, education, and challenge.

What are your values? If you haven’t invested a bit of introspective time in identifying and defining your values, I would suggest going so—there are a great many exercises and activities to get you started. And once you have a list of your values identified and defined, then you have a set of guard rails to guide you to a more fulfilling life.

Use values to guide life's transitions

A cancer diagnosis changes so much about a person’s daily life. It can be a daunting task to incorporate cancer patient treatment and recovery into one’s life, and along the way, many aspects of a person’s former life are altered, paused, or even taken away completely. The mental and emotional toll can be overwhelming.

If faced with those instances, try falling back onto your values. Answer definitively the question, what are your values? Then, determine what you are capable of doing—tasks, activities, and behaviors—that relate to those values.

Start with a blank sheet of paper. Don’t fret over what you used to do. Instead, focus on your “new normal” and decide what you can do, not what you cannot do. For each of your values, identify behaviors, tasks, and activities that are mapped to, and congruent with, a value.

Live your values for rich and rewarding life

Living your values allows one to live an intentional life full of purpose. Intentionally living in alignment with your values might just bring you closer to identifying a new or evolved life purpose and how you better serve those you love. Along the way, you just might better serve yourself as well.