Missing Julia

"I'm living the dream!" my friend Julia would say when asked how she was. I met Julia at church when she and her husband Bob started attending with his mother. Julia and Bob lived about an hour from the church, but they would come into Tulsa on Sundays to spend the day as a family with Bob's ninety-year-old mother, Lydia.

Bob and Julia had been married since 1971, one year after Julia graduated from high school. Julia was 68 years old and was loving her time as a grandmother. She had recently welcomed her first great-grandbaby.

Julia not only talked the talk as a Christian, but she also walked the walk. Julia and Bob always visited my mother (also in her nineties) when she was in the hospital. When I was diagnosed with blood cancer in 2017 and had to make a couple of trips to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas, Julia called to check on my mother.

Julia checked on everyone. She would call, send cards, and bring cookies to my door for a fun surprise. When I would ask her to come in for a visit, she would say, "I can't stay long because I have some other deliveries to make." That was Julia, always taking care of people.

The power of friendships

Did you know that experts found a link between social support from friendships and the immune system? People with good friends tend to have stronger immune systems! Additionally, they also have better anti-inflammatory responses, leading to quicker wound healing and reducing the risk of illnesses, including cardiovascular disease, arthritis, and even some cancers.

Researchers believe that friendships also play a role in the way the body processes stress. When you spend time with your pals sharing what's on your mind, your body may produce less stress hormone (cortisol), which can have a calming effect.

Supportive friends often help us feel more confident by offering praise and reassurance. They are the ones that will drop what they are doing to talk when you need to vent.

Visiting with happy people can rub off on you! We have to continue to build up our friendships actively instead of waiting for them to come to us.

Medical professionals believe that positive friendships promote overall healthy habits. Have you watched what your healthy friends do? They order water instead of soda with lunch. Many walk their dogs in the evening, they aren't couch potatoes.

Julia as my cheerleader

When I started writing for Blood-Cancer.com in 2020, Julia became my biggest supporter. One time in Sunday School, she said the closing prayer. Julia said, "Thank you, God, for giving Connie the talent to write. Help her continue to use her writing to encourage others." Who ME? I thought. Well, what do you know? She read everything I published and was always complimentary.

I couldn't believe it at first when I received a phone call to pray for Julia because she had COVID. She mostly stayed home during the pandemic, and she wore a face mask when she needed to go to the grocery store. I thought this will be hard, but if the 85-year-old lady in my book club could survive COVID, surely Julia will, too.

As I write this, COVID has affected more than 165 million people worldwide and killed more than 3.5 million people... so far.

"Why, Julia?" I have asked. Although I am 100% sure the Pearly Gates swung open wide to welcome her into Heaven, I hoped she could stay longer to watch her younger grandchildren grow up, but this wasn't to be. She is truly living the dream now.

Julia Ann Dooly Ford, June 1, 1952 - May 3, 2021