The Power of Friendships
The last week of January 2021 was emotionally rough for me. Two of my longtime friends passed away. I know they are both in Heaven and no longer suffering, but I still miss them.
Lynelle was 68 years old, and Carolyn was 73. Both women had a strong faith. Lynelle had been diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2018. Carolyn had many health problems her whole life, so she moved to a care facility in 2017. She died of COVID.
Lynelle
Lynelle was my mentor during my first year of teaching, 1978-1979. At the time, Lynelle taught students with learning disabilities in grades third and fourth. I learned a lot from her. I wrote about her in my 2020 article, "Look Good, Feel Better."
Lynelle was an outstanding teacher who became an excellent school administrator. I was glad because, at the time, I thought some school administrators misunderstood learning disabilities.
Lynelle later became a college professor. Her students adored her and called her Dr. B. She was a treasure because she was in touch with today's teaching world, preparing future educators.
Lynelle's college students called her Dr. B, but she was Zsa Zsa to her two granddaughters. I saw many photos of Zsa Zsa with her girls. They would go to the beach, play dress-up, have tea parties, etc. It hurts to think about how much those girls will miss their Zsa Zsa, but I know they have lots of precious memories of their good times together.
Carolyn
Carolyn was my telephone buddy. She kept me up on all the news from church because she knew everyone there. It was no secret that Carolyn marched to her own beat. She had a voice disorder caused by her many health issues. People often thought she sounded angry because of her shrill voice, but that wasn't the case.
When I told Carolyn that I have myelodysplastic syndromes (MDS), she acted upset and wished me good luck going to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas. I remember thinking, this MDS is scary, but I am still active. I would hate living here in this care center, but Carolyn made the best of her difficult situation.
Benefits of friendships
I read a study that said that people with friends have less heart disease and hypertension! Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends can also:1
- Increase your sense of belonging and purpose; we like to feel included in someone's plans.
- Boost your happiness and reduce your stress; laughing is beneficial for your health. Find a friend who makes you laugh.
- Improve your self-confidence and self-worth; it's nice to hear someone say, "I knew you would know what to do!"
- Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss, or a loved one's death; just talking to someone helps when you are going through a stressful time.
- Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise. A friend can call to say, "Put on your walking shoes; I will pick you up in an hour so that we can walk around the park."
Two years ago, I was volunteering for Meals on Wheels when I met my new partner. "Yay! A new friend!" Judy exclaimed. You couldn't help but like Judy. That's the outlook we all should have. Making friends is good for us.
We don't know why the people we love had to leave so soon, but my faith tells me that I will see these friends again. I used to say to my students, "Be nice to people. You can never have too many friends." Friends make our journey here on earth less lonely.
Carolyn Sue Brese, November 16, 1947-January 24, 2021
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