Just Delayed, Not Denied

Reflecting on my time in active treatment, it was challenging to accept that everyone's treatment journey is different. Some people have shorter treatments, while others have longer ones. I often felt like I drew the shorter end of the stick.

I've never been the kind of person who could effortlessly ace a test without studying. I wish I could say I was, but that’s far from true. As someone with dyslexia, I've always needed extra time and alternative methods to learn. This has been my reality throughout my life.

Everyone's treatment journey is different

During my active treatment, it seemed like everyone was finishing before me. I constantly reminded myself that my situation was temporary, which was true, but it didn’t ease the frustration of what I had to endure—ten long years.

Naturally, there were delays. One instance stands out: I had just completed my bone marrow transplant and was scheduled to go home in a few months. At the final check-up, I was told I had to stay for another two months. I was already homesick, far from home, and missed my dog. Visitors were scarce.

Making the best of long-term treatment

I had to resolve to make the best of the delay. I allowed myself to feel my emotions and then tried to learn from the delay and stay productive. I remained as active as possible. Even when I went on the transplant list for an unrelated donor for my bone marrow transplant, I had to wait for a match, another delay. During that time, I worshipped, prayed, and spent time with God, I    still do this to til this day. It's in these delays that I learned valuable lessons. Delays are humbling; they may not feel good, but in the end, you gain valuable insights and experiences.

Now in another delay

I've realized that for every action, there is a reaction, and my body is different post-treatment. Currently, I'm in another delay. I've decided to push myself and prove that neither cancer nor its treatments can stop me. As we all know, undergoing cancer treatment changes your life forever. Here's a secret: I decided to enter my first bikini competition (body building).

It's been incredibly hard, especially being a young adult in menopause and dealing with chemotherapy side effects.

Nutrition, timing, persistence, and muscles go hand and hand. My competition date has been moved three times, and here I am in another delay. Yet, I am not denied, just temporarily delayed. In this delay, I'm asking God what He wants me to learn and how to proceed. I’m committed to staying consistent, not quitting, and pushing through. I understand now that growth isn’t instantaneous; we must bloom like flowers or caterpillars to butterflies.

Delays and failures are part of the process

Delays and failures are part of the process. Don't let them deter you from what we know is ours. We have this! Consistence to the best of our ability is our part to do. Good News! I do have my new show date; my gut feeling/intuition tells me my body and mind will for sure be ready. Cheers to us!!!

I am doing this for us, for every cancer survivor who felt that their body can't make a resilient comeback. So, my question to you all is: How do you handle delays in any situation you've faced?

Gratefully, Panda