Truth And Blood Cancer

You can do and say pretty much anything you want, but over time, the truth always surfaces. No matter how you look at it truth owns every part of our lives. As blood cancer patients do not own the truth of our disease – it owns us. Yes, we can choose to ignore, avoid, pretend or deny the presence of our unwelcome guest. In the end, the truth is our lives are now forever different and will never be as it was before.

Fine-tuning our view of our lives

For me and perhaps you - this may be the right moment to fine-tune how we view the remaining time we have left on this big blue ball. It is up to us to choose to live our lives with a new purpose and perhaps a new vigor or choose to retreat into a world of solitude.

As the months and years passed, I faced a windfall of unwelcomed and nasty challenges. These events included multiple battles with cancer along with the loss of a 4-year-old grandson to cancer and the death of my spouse. And not too long ago no one, including me, thought Dennis was coming home alive from a hospital stay thanks to covid pneumonia.

No longer comparing myself to others

It was at that point when I decided it was time to stop comparing where I was in life with those who were either healthier, younger, older, had more hair, or were still in a relationship with a life partner. I slowly discovered life is not about being better than someone else but rather it is all about standing out because of who you are. Life is and should be all about having the courage to be you, including all the many lumps, bumps, fears, and scars that blood cancer and life, in general, have thrown our way.

Letting go of my roadblocks on my path

Rather than feeling sorry for myself and replaying the many ways I could have approached things differently, my alternative path was to ask, "Who am I today and where do I want my life to go in the future?"

I found it was better to ask great questions in life vs having an answer without knowing what the question was.

Most often the stories I believed and repeatedly told myself were not true. My "go-to" answers and roadblocks were a  product of my fears and doubts. I soon saw that the quality of my questions dictated the quality of the answers I was seeking. It did not take long for truth and reality to take center stage.

Letting go of false narratives

After my wife passed, I convinced myself for example that I would be alone forever. It was not a truth. As soon as I began reaching out and accepting invitations to be with other people, I met someone special who most likely will be in my life in the years ahead.

While I had been considering moving out of state to be closer to family, I was also listening to that silent voice in my head saying you will never find what you are seeking. On a December day in 2022 and on a whim, I took a drive to check out a winery near Richmond VA. In the process, I accidentally stumbled upon a community of to-be-built homes that met every expectation.

Once again truth overcame my false narratives.

As  blood cancer travelers, we owe it to ourselves and those close to us to ask the right questions and explore the truths we hold on to in our hearts and minds.