caret icon Back to all discussions

What about when you are ghosted by the person with Cancer?

I have a newish friendship of 2 months with a man. We just clicked on a natural deeper connection and felt like we had known each other for years. We would text everyday, he would call and we would talk on the phone for 3 hours and we even caught up once and had dinner and did an activity for 5 hours, we were in effect getting to know each other.

What I have found since he was diagnosed with cancer 7 days ago and now out of remission again is that he is actually the one ghosting me. His Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma has come back and its Stage 3 and has now travelled to his lungs. The prognosis is a 62% chance he will make 5 years. Obviously he told me that much and he is absolutely devastated.

Since him telling me 7 days ago, I have sent and continue to send him a message once a day (it could be a "Miss our friendship", "Thinking of you", telling him I am here to support him and want to be there for him, asking if he would like a visit as I would love to visit, asking if if he would like a call to chat, sending funny videos to try and lift his spirits a bit, sending encouraging memes, beautiful pictures of places around the world.....and more than half the time he doesn't go into my message to read it until maybe 3 days later and when he does read what I have sent he simply doesn't respond and I am left on read.

Not sure if daily messages is too overwhelming for him or maybe he just wants to cut our connection and is hoping I just disappear into the yonder but I am feeling sad and not sure how long to keep this up as I am starting to feel it is not wanted by him. I would never Cancer Ghost but he is actually the one doing the ignoring behaviour.

What to do, what to do?

  1. Thankyou. I guess I just don't know how often I should be sending texts. It's confusing to know whether to send one each day, every 2 days, once a week 🤷‍♀️

Please read our rules before posting.