Dealing With An Oncologist’s Somewhat Crude Delivery Of Disturbing News?

TEST RESULTS - Every two months I have my blood work, two weeks later I meet with my hematologist to discuss in person my results. Last week I was scheduled for the in person appointment. However I woke with a migraine and nausea ( most likely stress induced) so my hematologist agreed to have a phone conversation since I wasn’t feeling well. I appreciated that greatly.

THE PHONE CALL
Having been feeling well for the most part and not so fatigued I thought the conversation would go very well, as did my last results prior to this particular discussion. Man, I was left reeling from what seemed like a whirlwind of doom and gloom.
The conversation certainly didn’t go exactly as had been expecting , ( I have to remember that nothing related to cancer always goes as we may want it to.)

THE RESULTS
The Doctor began by saying that everything seemed good, but one thing was baffling him. He couldn’t understand how my kidney functioning could possibly be so poor when just two months ago they were great. Without skipping a beat he went on a spiel as how he feels the kidney amyloidosis that I have is “ misbehaving “! That I need to get to my nephrologist, have a kidney biopsy ( my second) and expect to start chemotherapy again after five years chemo free and possibly endure another autologous stem cell transplant when I was told the team thought I could never handle any more chemo or especially another stem cell transplant. I realize there may be some other less invasive treatments, but did he forget that I was told no more treatment?

FEELINGS OF SHOCK AND FINALLY ANGER
I think in an effort to try to set me at ease he kept saying that he didn’t want me to think that I did anything to bring this on, but that it was just “ bad luck “! Who says that to a cancer patient ( aside from the amyloidosis I was diagnosed with LGL leukemia, T cell lymphoma and multiple myeloma)? I realize Drs have many patients but when it’s our time, our nerve wracking time, that we’d like to feel as if we are not just a number in line , but we’d appreciate some tact and compassion. I would have liked it better if he did another test,discussed said tests with my nephrologist, and then determined if I am to have to decide whether to go through treatment again and not be left with my head spinning.Are our Drs so overworked and desensitized to the fear we as patients of an insidious disease live with. This is my third oncologist for various reasons, and at some point they all have had their less than stellar moments . I’m not looking to be coddled, but compassion and empathy go a long way. Has anyone else ever been given unfortunate news regarding a diagnosis or treatment plans without any semblance of a kinder deliverance? Thank You!