Blood-cancer effects every aspect of our lives. It takes a toll. We need to rest and digest to recuperate, to heal. Have you ever been dealt a blow you felt you couldn't overcome?
I was diagnosed with blood-cancer in 2011. There have been events I thought I would not survive. It takes a toll. How did you find your way out of despair? Dread? I think we all feel it sometimes.
You've been living with blood cancer a long time. Think about how blessed you are when you start feeling that despair or depression. It seems to have helped me. Much to the surprise of my doctors who used to be amazed everytime I came in. They'd say you look good, how do you feel when I'd come in in a wheelchair and getting orders to get a blood transfusion. That became a weekly thing. I wondered how long can you do this? I knew that with MDS it was just a matter of time, I wasn't going to get better. Now I have been diagnosed with Acute myeloid leukemia and after this last bone marrow biopsy Multi myeloma. Now I receive chemo for 1 week for the AML and 1 day every week for the MM. All this has happened since January 2023. Not a long time. I think when it really bothers me is when I'm just sitting and know there is so much that doesn't get done and my house is a mess but I just really don't feel like it or I attempt doing something with the worse spots but keep having to sit down because my back is killing me. The one thing I have to remember always is how thankful I am to still be here. I am truly blessed. I can't imagine what God needs from me but he isnt through yet. In those moments of despair say a quick prayer thanking him for allowing you to be here and to help make you stronger than you feel right now. I assure you it works. It's all I knew to do and its helped.
Sometimes when it it all gets to be too much, over and over again, it can feel like drowning. Or capsizing. Or it can all seem like there is just too much to overcome. There's a hopelessness.
Gratitude isn't always easy to come by. That's for sure. You've had an incredible amount of change in your life in a very short time. I think gratitude has bumped up your resilience. We all could use more of that!
I think that sometimes I have to search to find the things that are right in front of my face. I can't see the forest for the trees, as my grandmother used to say. It all gets so tangled up and complicated.
I do feel grateful for the little things mostly. Recognizing that, saying a prayer, and asking for strength really makes sense. The nervous system needs relief. It helps. Thanks so much for being a part of our community.
Do you know why your back hurts? I have had low risk secondary MDS since 2020 and frequently have to sit down because of upper back pain. It can be debilitating.
This is my 4th cancer. I had dual primaries, Ovarian and Uterine in 2001, and Rectal cancer in 2015. I also have the BRCA 1 and Lynch Syndrome mutations.It's so much for the body to carry. The chronic pain can be so intense and the means we have to deal with it so meager. So many of us have comorbidities. It's like one problem leads to another and onward. How have you managed it all these years?
