Forgiveness

By Racheli Alkobey

1 min read

One of the biggest letdowns through treatment was the toxicity of friends who let me down. After treatment, I had enough of holding grudges and decided to take action on forgiving people (even when they didn’t ask!) so that I could heal and move forward with my life in survivorship.

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Amanda Brunson Moderator & Contributor
Yes, I totally understand what you’re saying I definitely went through it myself. I have come to the point where I forgive everyone even if they didn’t ask for it. I did learn when people show you who they are take them for who they are and just move different with them because you’ve seen how they are when you’re in a good place and when you’re in a bad place. I still love them but healthy boundaries is a must‼️ and if that means I have to love them from a distance I’ll do that. So now you have an idea 💡 you know how to move with them. Also holding onto grudges is like drinking poison and expecting them to die. It’s really only hurting you because just like you said they’ve moved on and possibly most of the time have even forgot about what they did in the first place. There’s a whole series sermon Pastor Michael Todd did called FU❗️🥁 💜💛 👩🏾‍🎓 🎓 📜 Lol! Forgiveness University‼️ You thought I was meaning something different Huh lol 😂 any way I don’t mean to get churchy but it’s really really amazing series and it also helps you to start that move towards forgiveness for anyone in general who’s out there still holding onto some stuff they need to let go❤️❤️❤️🫂 i’ll put the link here just in case anybody wants to click on it. I’m very much 🛁 🧽 soaking all the wisdom I can get🧡 Amanda🐼 (Blood-Cancer.com team member ❤️) https://youtu.be/KcWv9ss8h18
Amanda Brunson Moderator & Contributor
https://youtu.be/KcWv9ss8h18
Ramae Hamrin Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Racheli Alkobey" user-id="3651245"/> You are so right! Forgiveness is key, even though it's not an easy thing to do. I echo <inline-mention username="Amanda Brunson" user-id="4145474"/>'s comment that holding onto grudges is like drinking poison ... The older I get the more I realize that everything has both good and bad. When friends leave, they make room for new friends or even just more self-reliance. It can be painful and uncomfortable, but we all know by now that growth doesn't happen when we get everything we want. I also agree with Amanda that we can forgive and still love others while maintaining healthy boundaries for ourselves (e.g., my family). I think forgiveness and love are necessary to living our best lives, both with and without cancer. ❤️
Amanda Brunson Moderator & Contributor
Sooo right! 🫂🫂🫂🫂♥️🎯 💯
Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Racheli Alkobey" user-id="3651245"/> You are so right about all those bottled up feelings when people let you down...The feelings do weigh you down and I also agree, they are hurting you while the people who have abandoned you have gone on their way...It's so hard to let go but we have to learn to do it for our own sakes. Definitely will try to get on the forgiveness path. Susan (Blood-Cancer.com Team Member)
Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo Moderator & Contributor
It's so interesting that friends and toxic people have been a trend in the last recent posts within the community. I guess we all can totally relate. I agree as we move on we have to let it go at some point.
Connie Connely Contributor
I surprised a friend by directly asking her why she wasn't interested in reading the articles I wrote for Blood-Cancer. She explained that her father had been sick for years, so she didn't like reading medical articles. I can understand ignoring random articles by unknown authors, but she has been a guest in my home many times. A 500-word article that will take three minutes to read? Come on! I told her I was offended. "It's not your writing," she insisted. "I don't like reading about sick people." Luckily, I have other friends who call me, text or email me when they have read my articles. One of my cousins shares them on her Facebook page. That's how friends are supposed to act.
1. Dennis Golden Moderator
 I think unless you’ve been through a cancer diagnosis it’s pretty tough to understand the Power involved when you speak about it or write about it versus choosing to remain silent. The topic of death dying and cancer or typically topics most of us don’t wanna speak about. Once you’ve been through a cancer diagnosis I think your perspective changes because you suddenly begin to realize that we all have a limited amount of time to enjoy life. I can fully understand your front not wanting to read about it. But just know in time we all need to face reality in our own way.