The Shock of CLL

By amanda

1 min read

My mom passed away from cancer and 6 months later I was diagnosed with CLL. It came as quite a shock since this kind of leukemia typically affects older gentleman. My kids were scared and worried (and still are at times, 2 1/2 years later) that their mom was going to die from cancer in the near future.

After many tests including a bone marrow biopsy, CT scan, and much blood work, we were thankful that the results came back my CLL was none aggressive and treatment could wait.

Doing the best I can

I am starting to struggle with my immune system, often getting sick, and am bothered by swollen lymph nodes. But I'm still in a watch and wait period.

I try to live each day to the fullest and remember that I am living. I try to not focus too much on the fact that my blood and bone marrow are sick with leukemia.

Some days are harder than others. I've had multiple surgeries because of the effects of my CLL, but today I am here and doing the best I can despite my diagnosis.

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Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo Moderator & Contributor
Hi Amanda I'm so sorry for your lost. It's always interesting when being left to explain to children life and death. This can be a scary time for your kids and yourself, just continue taking things one day at a time. I'm happy you don't have to deal with treatment right now, but understand the trails and tribulations of still being affected in some form or another. Many people will agree with you in "Living life to the fullest". It is a strong mantra of mine as well. Again, continue moving forward one step and day at a time. I wish you a Happy New Year for 2019. Best!
CindyC Moderator
I am sorry to read about your diagnosis. I was dx with myeloma at a young age too. You have a good attitude to focus on what you can do and live your life. Take things one day at a time. As you said some days will be harder than others, but continue to focus on the good.
bluchs Member
Amanda You have the right attitude. Live your life to the fullest and try to be thankful for small things. Reassure your children, but don't hide your pain from them, they want to help you. Your kids are in shock too! And of course they are scared. Enjoy the good days, and be strong on the bad days. ( I know that is easier said, than done) I too, am in shock, 3&1/2 years and still fighting to survive. My kids and grandkids are a big part of my diagnosis, and my pain and recovery. I would be lost without them. I won't ever give up! Nor should you! Good Luck and May God Be With You.
Daniel Malito Moderator
<inline-mention user-id="3655513" username="amanda"/> Sorry to hear that, but it does sound like it could have been worse. I know that’s not really much comfort, but it’s something. It is important to also remeber to live, especially when you are given a diagnosis that could have possibly taken even that away. Either way, remember you’re not alone and this fantastic community is here for you. Keep on keepin’ on, DPM
hammosa Member
Hi Amanda, Glad to hear you are making the best of each day, that is all we can do really. Cancer put a lot of things in perspective for me. I have my good days and my not so good days but I still have them. I have time that some never get. In some ways I feel fortunate to have the time to do what I want to do and say what I want to say. It sounds to me like you have a positive attitude which is a big part of fighting cancer. Best wishes in your journey 💚
Ann Harper Moderator & Contributor
I think the way you are handling this is great. None of us are promised tomorrow, so making the most of each day is what we all should be doing. I wish you luck and will say a prayer for you.