Bone Marrow Transplant Result Anxiety

By ddaily

1 min read

I am 20 months post bone marrow transplant for AML. My last visit at the end of January showed all positive results. I return to the doctor at the beginning of May.

I’m concerned about my next visit. I’ve been told if I make the two-year mark, that it bodes well for me to make it to the 5-year cured status. I feel very anxious about the next milestones.

How can I persevere for the next few months of waiting for the next results?

I worried I am not continuing to improve. I don’t know if it’s because of my anxiety or if it is a reality.

I am taking an antidepressant, but I still feel very uncertain about my future.

Any thoughts or suggestions on how to deal with these feelings would be appreciated.

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Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention user-id="3640845" username="ddaily"/> - I'm sure your anxiety is high because you don't know what the future holds... but I must say you can't live in depths of uncertainty. Though you're dealing with this horrible thing, and your results after transplant look promising, stay in that mode of embracing now, and what it feels like. When you have your follow-up in May deal with whatever the news as received. If it's continued success - great! If the news is not what you were hoping, this too you shall conquer. Take things one step at a time. Best!
Racheli Alkobey Moderator & Contributor
Hi! I think that what you're feeling is extremely normal in our world. These milestones are so important for us to hit, yet they cause us so anxiety. I try my best to just live in the moment and not let these anxieties take over my day. Think deeply about what it is that's making you so uncertain and how you can overcome those emotions and work through them. As I've gotten closer and closer to the milestones, the anxiety has totally diminished.
dan122 Member
I'm going to my first SCT in 3 month. I fell the same way as you do. Now I'm trying to cheat and not do it, go other treatment. I have a slow lymphoma, and I fell very afraid of getting an AML 5 years from now, related to the SCT. If one is not afraid before an SCT there is something wrong with him. I'm coping with it with the help of my family and my church. And some pills too. Best wishes.
mpn-nhl-mike Member
My first attempt at a BMX was in the office. They started a line, gave me 3mg Ativan, and then injected lidocaine at the site. I first told them the Ativan would do nothing, as I take 1 to 2 mg a night. Still they ignored me and proceeded. When they got down to the bone, things were not well. I just about screamed and couldnt take it. They decided to do it another day with sedation. That day came, and a little Versed and Fentynal, and it went fine. Never felt or remembered a thing. The next one was while I was seeing my other oncologist at Dana Farber in Boston. She was doing a regular exam, and said how about we do a BMX? I was like, well I'd have to come back as I want to get mentally ready. She said we do it in a regular room with mild sedation, I'd be awake and wouldn't feel a thing. They do them by the dozen, so they have it perfected. I agreed, with some apprehension. They put me in a regular exam room, started an IV, had me lie face down, with a monitor and BP cuff on. I had one nurse rubbing my shoulders, one chatting with me, one assisting the guy doing it, and the doctor. I was totally awake and talking, did not feel any pain at all! I did feel pressure, not uncomfortable, but just enough to know they were there. Still no pain. They were right, they have it perfected. I'm even thinking about driving the 2 1/2 hours down there next time to have them do it. My place here can do it, but nothing like at Dana Farber!