A Hermits Life

By Bhambrick

1 min read

I'm in my 3rd year of stage 3 CLL. My husband died of lung cancer the year before I was diagnosed. Having seen what he went thru I decided to stop treatment after 1.5 yrs of chemo. My problem is depression. My family is small and busy with their own lives. I'm in a small town, have minimal income. I've become a hermit waiting anxiously to die

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Sophie Gordon Community Admin
Thanks for being so open and sharing your experience with the community. I hear you are going through a tough time, especially with the loss of your husband. I am so sorry to hear of his passing; I know that can make your experience with CLL even heavier. With all of this going on, I'm glad you reached out. Although it may feel like it, you are not alone here; this community is full of resources and support that can hopefully offer some solace during this difficult time. Below, I have attached a couple of resources for you to check out. The first offers many different mental health resources including a 24-hour call and text support line. While we are not mental health counselors, we encourage you to look at this page to find some more direct support. <a href='https://blood-cancer.com/mental-health/general-resources' target='_blank'>https://blood-cancer.com/mental-health/general-resources</a> The second is an article by one of our health leaders that describes her own story of struggling with depression after a blood cancer diagnosis and she offers some tips from her own experience. <a href='https://blood-cancer.com/living/depression' target='_blank'>https://blood-cancer.com/living/depression</a> We appreciate your courage to reach out and please let us know if we can provide any additional resources. Sending you my best. -Sophie, team member
Dennis Golden Moderator
Hi .. I wanted to reach out to you as I recently and suddenly lost my wife of 57 years. I used several protocols to help me with some serious depression and would be more than happy to share some thoughts when you feel comfortable . A good start is an organization called GriefShare and …you will find them on line. David Kessler also has a number of books on dealing with grief and he has been responsible for me becoming a grief coach. Just know we all handle grief in our own way and in our own time .. Do not feel rushed or that you are “doing it wrong” Best Dennis <a href='https://blood-cancer.com' target='_blank'>blood-cancer.com</a> TEAM
Angie Netterville Moderator & Contributor
Just checking in to see how you are doing <inline-mention username="Bhambrick" user-id="6708351"/> ? We're here for support if you need it. Wishing you the best. Angie -team member
cancersucks209 Member
Bhambrik I'm so so sorry to hear your husband has passed, and that you are depressed...It saddens my heart because I know how you feel...Please please know your not alone..I'm gonna be praying for you..and please reach out.. I'm so willing to SHARE my story with you...If you hear mine, you will ALSO know, that the battles you face are real, and justified..But the biggest thing is knowing your not alone in your feelings...and that others can help you with your grief..you need SUPPORT, AND LOVE..And GODS HEALING...PLEASE PLEASE know I say all of this with sincerity, because I understand...GOD BLESS YOU my friend.. Please reach out when your able, and know that I'm here for you..🙏🤗
1. Dennis Golden Moderator
 One of the best pieces of advice I received was from David Kessler who used an interesting story to illustrate how we may want to face stress y. He noted that on the American plaines Buffalo do not run from thunder storms because they learned when you run away - the storm just follows you and you just keep running and running According to David buffalo actually run into the storm in an effort to let it pass more rapidly . It is an interesting way to look at the many storms we all face in life. Hope the story rings true for each of you ... in your own way... in your own time ~ Dennis (Blood-Cancer.com TEAM)
HopeAllGoesWell51 Member
Hi. I too was diagnosed 3 years ago (October 2020) with CLL. I started chemo pills and infusion in March (2023). I have been where you are so many times. As I type this I am where you are. I am on this journey alone. I try to stay positive. But this cancer is all I think about. I will pray for you more than I will pray for myself. I hope only the best for you. Stay strong! Stay positive! Stay hopeful! Keep the Faith!
1. Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Bhambrick" user-id="6708351"/> Sorry to hear you're getting that kind of reaction for a bad day I can assure you many here don't take for granted a "good day". Please know you have a community here who knows all too well that bad days and fatigue are not made up, and are now part of the new circumstances. Have a blessed day and wishing you the very best!
2. Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo Moderator & Contributor
 Yes, many people unfortunately may not have a tight network of supporters to help them along this process. Please know that you are not alone and there are many networks and programs out here, especially this one on our site. We are many faces and stories with an ear to listen along with you on this new journey. Here is a helpful article when you have time to review it. <a href="https://blood-cancer.com/living/living-alone">https://blood-cancer.com/living/living-alone</a> Wishing you the very best!
Leya Elijah-Lyle Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Bhambrick" user-id="6708351"/> I have been surviving CLL since 2015. I will admit that I have battled depression and even suicide over the years for which I have been quite open to help others. I can't imagine the pain of your loss, but my heart goes out to you. Please know that it may feel you are alone but you most definitely are not. We are all here for you. I certainly am! Please don't hesitate to reach out when you need us! We got you!! ~Leya Elijah-Team Member~