Radio on the Keyboard - Episode 1

I’ve been away for a while. It’s not because I went out of remission. It’s also not because I continue to fight fatigue consistently, which I do.

It has much more to do with writing. Yes, you read things correctly. Writing keeps me from writing, among other things like running a nonprofit and settling a messy family estate. It seems so odd now. I never was one to put thoughts down on paper, but for some reason, I started writing when I got diagnosed with multiple myeloma. Writing nothing turned into journal entries. A journal turned into a blog, a blog into a novella, and a novella into a novel. I am now in the process of self-editing my second novel. To say the least, I have been remiss in my blog-writing duties. For that, I apologize.

Trying something a little different

As I write this blog, my most current book is being beta-read, so I should have a few weeks to pick up my advocate writing keyboard and dive back in. This time I’m going to try something different. I will attempt to enter a new world by pretending I’m doing a late call-in show on the radio. You know, one of those on the air at 3:00 AM, where you can get odd ducks talking about bizarre subjects and brilliant ducks who have their finger on the pulse of important stuff. Recall, I was never a writer, but that didn’t stop me. So, why not radio... on the keyboard?

WPDJ Radio

“Welcome to the Halloween edition of Advocates Corner on WPDJ, where we talk on all things Pretty Damn Juicy or with anyone advocating for anything. Well, maybe almost anything. In fact, I’ll talk to nearly anyone about practically anything, even if you aren’t advocating. You know, 3:00 AM can be a lonely place if you limit your audience further than those who can’t sleep if you get my drift. I am your host, Michael “Swayback” Padjen, founder of WPDJ, interrupting your airwaves, and probably your sleep, from an undisclosed location nestled near the bowels of my parent’s basement. Give me a call, and let’s talk about any Pretty Damn Juicy thing on your mind. Don’t be shy.”

“Call on line three, Swayback. Won’t give her name.”
“Good Morning, Ms., or is it Mrs. No Name.”
“Good Morning, Swayback. I thought I’d play a little game with you. Do you recognize my voice?”
“This can’t be who it sounds like. It, it’s impossible.”
“Who does this sound like?”
“My Sister Jody who passed away from MS and its complications last month. Wha… What are you doing calling me? How is it possible?”

The most bloodcurdling scream Swayback ever heard comes into Swayback’s ear from his sister, then about five seconds of silence, then “Just effing with you, big brother. It’s your Halloween show, dummy. Why wouldn’t I call for this special occasion?”

“Ha, ha, Sis. Very funny. Ok, I’ll take the bait. What do you want to say to my audience?”

Another bloodcurdling scream, then instead of silence, sounds of gagging and choking, then, “Did I get you again, big brother.”

“Not this time, Sis, although I rather enjoy your theatrics.”

The big gal and parting words of wisdom

“All I wanted to say was I miss you, my husband, Kirk, and the rest of my family. I wish I had spent more time with all of you. The nice thing to know is we will eventually get to spend a lot of time together, so if that’s not for you, you better let the Big Gal know.”

“Did you say Big Gal?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe us humans can’t figure out that something as complicated and harmonious as the universe could be created by a Big Guy. Wait until you get to this side, then you’ll understand. In any case, things are really lovely on my side of the veil. For all those out there struggling with sickness, fatigue, pain, or other bullshit that comes your way through bosses, bankers, or asshole friends and relatives, please know there is a considerable force from this side walking your journey with you. Ask for their strength to help get you through the tough times. Also, know there are people on your side ready to help you move forward, too. You need to be willing to seek their help, and for God’s sake, take care of them in return. Also, remember all the nastiness of your illness will be passed you one day, so have faith and some peace, and rejoice in all the good things you have now.”

“Sis, Is that how you felt during all those years?”

“Not always. It’s easier to see things more clearly from this perspective. You know, as a dead person.

“Very funny again, Sis. If there’s one thing you had through all your struggles, it was an infectious and unique sense of humor. I really appreciate you finding a way to break through and give us some good, heartfelt advice, and a few laughs.

Halloween candy for the angels

“Got to go, big brother. The Big Gal needs me to help pass out Halloween candy to the angels. She says your namesake Michael the Archangel can get rather hangry when he doesn’t get his chocolate.”

There was another bloodcurdling scream, then the sound of a knife going into a slab of meat, and then the line went dead. Swayback caught the irony of that.

“This is Michael “Swayback” Padjen signing off of WPDJ’s special Halloween show of Advocates Corner. Special thanks to my sister, Jody, for her words of wisdom and her best imitation of Jamie Lee Curtis. Peace out.”