My Purple Wig Helped Me Survive
Last updated: June 2021
As I started treatment, I experienced unbelievable weakness and fatigue. Some days it was a challenge to walk or do household chores. Something as simple as brushing my teeth and washing my face became so hard for me. I got to the point that I couldn’t take a shower unattended. I had to move about my home with assistance and that made me so depressed and embarrassed. This just was NOT my life! I am a dancer, choreographer. I direct musicals! How can I go from taking on whole shows to finding it hard to find the strength to even talk? I cried so many tears.
Facing the mirror
As the days went on, I brushed my precious hair, and it filled more of my brush. I think it would have been easier for me if I had lost it all at once but I lost patches of my hair. I felt I looked like some sort of monster. I felt ugly, hideous, definitely not feminine. One day I looked in the mirror and all I could see was a sick and dying person. I saw DEATH.
Everything I saw had begun to change and everything inside me had changed. I was in severe pain! I was at the point of asking God, "Is this the end?” I wondered if this was my time. Was this how I was going to leave my family and loved ones? No, I couldn't think like this I had to fight for my life.
Finding a beautiful way to cope
I had gotten to the point that I had to stop seeing a cancer patient when I saw myself. I longed to see something that would shake me out of this depression. Something that would make me smile! Something that would define me, my journey, and that alone. So one day I had the epiphany! I desired to change my hair, my look! I had to change what I saw in that mirror.
I made the bold, beautiful decision to try wearing purple hair. The moment I put on the wig and looked into the mirror, everything was brand new for me! It seemed like someone turned on a spotlight and life around me was so beautiful. I found my confidence and even more I found my joy!! I was able to smile and laugh again. I was fabulously free!
How do you feel about your support system?