Dealing with Difficult People: Drama Mamas and Trolls

I recently asked my oncologist if my low blood levels caused my irritability. She said, "Cancer makes your body tired, and your mind stressed. These factors affect your mood." That explains why I sometimes feel and act like Miss Crankypants. Yes, I own it.

Don't talk to the trolls

During my last year teaching at our fall parent-teacher conferences, I heard a parent screaming at a teacher in the hallway. I had just finished my last meeting of the evening, so I stepped out to witness. If the drama mama didn't calm down, I planned to call our district's security. We learned later that the woman yelling had a lot of family problems, so consequently, she was overreacting to her child's math grade. That explains her poor choice of behavior, but it doesn't excuse it. Besides, parents used to hold their children accountable.

Three years later, and I'm writing for Blood-Cancer.com. I had heard about internet trolls. They write hateful comments trying to provoke an online argument. A lady said my article was a puff piece written by someone clueless about what a person with real cancer suffers. Ouch. My cancer is real, and I have a clue. When the internet was new, I learned, Don't talk to the trolls, keep scrolling.

Some tips I have learned about dealing with people

1. We shouldn't take it personally. I think some people are critical because it makes them feel in control. Hurting people say hurtful things.
2. We can't solve a problem until we identify it. I learned this tip from my pastor. I saw him calm a visitor who was loudly complaining about our church's community dinner. He asked, "What do you need?"
3. I keep my cell phone turned off. I'm not too fond of those annoying telemarketers. In other words, they can't annoy me if I don't take their calls. If friends call, they'll leave a message.
4. No one has the right to come to your door or call you to upset your day. For example, I received a phone call from a young woman who said she was from my bank. I didn't think she acted professionally. She said, "You have a funny name!" Giggle, giggle. I slammed down the receiver. (Cell phones aren't as dramatic, are they?) The next morning, I called my bank. The manager said, "Good thing you hung up. She was a scammer! She would have claimed there was a problem with your account, then ask for your account number."
5. If you don't like how someone treats you, say something. I sometimes ask, "What do you mean by that comment?" They might say, "I'm just teasing you!" However, it's only a joke if everyone is laughing.
6. Agree to disagree. I had neighbors who had been married for more than fifty years. She was a Democrat, and he was a Republican. If Mr. and Mrs. Lane could get along in the same house, it looks like we can get along on Facebook. Don't think that you have to share every opinion you have. Sometimes you just keep scrolling.

In summary, with or without cancer, we live in a complicated world. Above all, we have to remember that another person's behavior must not spoil our day. Although we can't change the fact that we are ill, we can change how we react.