When I Open My Eyes
Last updated: April 2023
The mound of hope, pain, and uncertainty is high for so many. There are so many things we can count our blessings on, in light of circumstances. When I open my eyes, I’m so grateful for yet another day, even if that day consists of aches and pain. Today I received disturbing news of a friend’s spouse who has been placed in hospice, after a long battle with cancer. I stood on the other end of the phone just shaking my head, as this could easily be me. One thing I will continue to stress is, taking life for granted in the present is not acceptable, because in an instant our stories can change drastically.
It’s conversations like the one I had earlier that makes me even more gung-ho in doing what I feel a calling to do. Becoming a patient advocate was not in the pages of my success story, nor was multiple myeloma. I’ve been able to adapt and have myeloma work around things I still have a calling to do. We may have blood cancer, yes, but in no way should we treat this disease as it has treated us… until it has us. I think those who go through cancer understand that statement a bit more deeply. There’s so much to do and such a short time, but we give it our all in fighting for our family, and more so for us in beating this. When I open my eyes, making it through another morning to do this all again is a step towards continuing the fight, whether it's good or bad.
Two weeks ago we fell into an arctic blast here in the states. One particular morning I scurried around doing whatever and heard a bird singing from outside my window. It was a light tweet but I caught it and grasped its significance. I know many may not be in acceptance of what they may have going on or may be having a hard time coping, but hearing this bird outside my window was very symbolic. It was symbolic because I can hear things that I would overlook before. A bird singing and me noticing it allowed me to engage with life. I so love my growth, even through getting diagnosed with myeloma. I could have done without the myeloma, but I think of things more seriously than I suppose I did before. When I open my eyes, I say "thank you for another day… I made it".
When I Open My Eyes
Speaking with my friend and having a very deep conversation, as the “planning" begins for my friend's spouse, I thought how easily that could and can be me. When I open my eyes, I can walk, talk, move, laugh, cry, cuss, be emotional, empathetic, and sympathetic. When I open my eyes I can keep this thing that I’m doing which is living as a multiple myeloma survivor… by all means necessary.
What blood cancer were you diagnosed with?