When I Open My Eyes
The mound of hope, pain, and uncertainty is high for so many. There are so many things we can count our blessings on, in light of circumstances. When I open my eyes, I’m so grateful for yet another day, even if that day consists of aches and pain. Today I received disturbing news of a friend’s spouse who has been placed in hospice, after a long battle with cancer. I stood on the other end of the phone just shaking my head, as this could easily be me. One thing I will continue to stress is, taking life for granted in the present is not acceptable, because in an instant our stories can change drastically.
It’s conversations like the one I had earlier that makes me even more gung-ho in doing what I feel a calling to do. Becoming a patient advocate was not in the pages of my success story, nor was multiple myeloma. I’ve been able to adapt and have myeloma work around things I still have a calling to do. We may have blood cancer, yes, but in no way should we treat this disease as it has treated us… until it has us. I think those who go through cancer understand that statement a bit more deeply. There’s so much to do and such a short time, but we give it our all in fighting for our family, and more so for us in beating this. When I open my eyes, making it through another morning to do this all again is a step towards continuing the fight, whether it's good or bad.
Two weeks ago we fell into an arctic blast here in the states. One particular morning I scurried around doing whatever and heard a bird singing from outside my window. It was a light tweet but I caught it and grasped its significance. I know many may not be in acceptance of what they may have going on or may be having a hard time coping, but hearing this bird outside my window was very symbolic. It was symbolic because I can hear things that I would overlook before. A bird singing and me noticing it allowed me to engage with life. I so love my growth, even through getting diagnosed with myeloma. I could have done without the myeloma, but I think of things more seriously than I suppose I did before. When I open my eyes, I say "thank you for another day… I made it".
When I Open My Eyes
Speaking with my friend and having a very deep conversation, as the “planning" begins for my friend's spouse, I thought how easily that could and can be me. When I open my eyes, I can walk, talk, move, laugh, cry, cuss, be emotional, empathetic, and sympathetic. When I open my eyes I can keep this thing that I’m doing which is living as a multiple myeloma survivor… by all means necessary.
The time to fight is now, with integrity, grace, hope, and a smile….when you feel like it
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