A person crossing their fingers with hope

2 Years Chemo Free

I can’t quite believe it. In fact, the last 2 years had a lot of ‘I can’t quite believe it’ in it. A permanent relationship (probably the biggest surprise to most people who know me). A move out of London. A baby. A puppy. So many things I always thought would be my future but never seemed to be, because of blood cancer. And then they were. A bit later than I wanted. But they happened. And this weekend it’s 2 years since I came off chemo! And I can’t quite believe it.

Two years without any chemo

I can’t believe that 2 years has gone by. How the hell has that happened?!?! It’s gone in a blink. I remember so vividly looking at the pot of pills and thinking "I’d better not. Just in case. I don’t think I will need to."

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But if there is a baby I don’t want to take the risk and do any damage from the chemo. which was quite a long list! I asked my consultant out of curiosity when getting serious about IVF and the potential damage the chemo could do to a developing fetus. And it was a lot. So many potential issues to all the devolving areas, the risk just wasn’t worth it.

And I also knew that I could increase the dose for a little bit to play catch up if needed too. I didn’t tell anyone that I was doing this, just in case it was for nothing. It was my little secret for those couple of weeks.

Trying not to get too excited

I remember going on a walk and thinking, "This could be it. There could be a baby. This could be the start of so much."

And also trying not to get too excited about it just in case. As I had been told my fertility was awful. Well. Not in those words. But after 6 months of mega fertility work on my part, I just had a feeling. Mothers intuition?

And within a few weeks you could see. The changes in my body were very obvious.

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Getting monthly blood checks

Anyways. This was meant to be about being off treatment and how that is. Not another post on pregnancy/motherhood. But it is those two things that have enabled me to be off treatment for so long.

Even though it’s been two years and technically I should be having blood tests/check ups every couple of months, I’m still monthly. Which I don’t mind. Well. Not really.

And as the last leukaemic rate result was the same as the month before, it hadn’t gone up. I have relaxed about it. The slight climb each time was worrying me especially as my consultant mentioned going back on treatment as an option. But as it’s settled down, I’m relaxed about it again. And hopefully the next one will be the same result again.

So we shall see how much longer I get. Will I be writing a post in a years time saying, "I can’t believe it’s been 3 years?!?." And how quickly it’s gone and I’m still on monthly check ups.

I really hope so…

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