How has blood cancer impacted your personal relationships?
Living with blood cancer impacts every aspect of life. This includes family and friends. How has it impacted your personal relationships?
Well you are right when you say blood-cancer impacts every aspect of life and in particular your personal relationships. At first everyone is stunned at the news and offers words of support. After a while you see a separation occurring. Some continue to care and support you while others take on an "ATTITUDE" --- sort of --- Wow tough luck man ... glad you are handling it well. In reality they have no idea how I am handing it and deep down you know they really do not care.
As things change you gain an understanding, appreciation and respect for those who are real. Fortunately our family is close. But even there no one really understands what is going on in your head. No one know what you are experiencing emotionally. They only see the physical impact cancer has on your body. During and long after treatment is over your mind is going in a million different directions as you ask yourself who am I and how do I handle this?
Those close want you to be OK and at the same time they can not heal you. I will say the most powerful thing anyone close to you can do is reach out and hold your hand or give you a hug and say I support you. Today I am closer to my family than ever before and at the same time I have gleefully pushed aside the "lets get together someday" types. And life feels really good to me right now. Dennis(Blood-Cancer.com TEAM)Sounds like you have had quite the roller-coaster ride over the past few years.
NOW ... If only you could teach your pups to type they could join in on our conversations . My RatTerrier likes to sing but she is shy on camera. LOL
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Your story breaks my heart, I'm sorry to hear of all the added challenges you've had to deal with in addition to your diagnosis. You certainly have been through quite a bit. I'm glad you have your pups by your side.
Sending my best, Doreen (Team Member)
Hi - it really can be a sad story. Those who look at me, post stem cell therapy, no hair on my head, no beard...and say "you look so different" (i.e. weird) with "that" expression. Even those who say "oh you don't look that bad" - with good intentions have "that" look on their faces.
To me, there is one word that matters: "love".
If no one in my family or close friends uses the phrase "I love you" it is sad. My own kids cannot say those words. My wife just cannot get past how I look. I look different and my cancer sparked a whole list of new medical conditions, swollen legs (blood clots, skin issues, and on and on.
One dear friend is my one "go to" person as she too has a blood cancer. We tell each other we love each other every day. No one else can relate to being this type of sick...She says the same to me.
Without my friend being there every day, life would be ever more challenging. So you take that and cherish it. I know my kids and wife love me but they are still in shock, a year later, over my Multiple Myeloma diagnosis. It so blind sided them...and me.
I read an article recently which reported that women diagnosed with cancer are six times more likely than men diagnosed with cancer to experience a divorce. I have also read reports that say that men live longer when married. From what I read women live the longest when we are single. All of these articles came to mind as I read your experience. The numbers are there. It's not as unusual as I first thought it would be.
Wow, what a story! I had to read it twice, and goodness, you are truly a survivor. I might borrow some inspiration and strength from your story ... My ex has a life insurance policy out on me (trying to get it canceled) and is just waiting for me to pass so he can collect. My own mother and sister also seem to prefer that I was no longer around. It is unfathomable when people who once loved you would rather see you pass away than try to help you survive for the good of everyone, especially the kids. I admit this has caused me significant depression and stress over the years, and only lately have I freed myself from taking responsibility for their feelings and behavior. Thank you for sharing your story. I don't share mine often, but sometimes it helps just to know we are not alone. Hugs, Ramae (Blood-Cancer.com, team)
Blood cancer separates the real from the fake. The hill runners as I call them vs. the non hill runners. It can be hurtful when people disappear or turn away but it makes you appreciate the true friends and family that rally around. As for the runners, that's on them, not you, if they feel they can't be a friend any longer. It's hurtful but best to move on. We don't have time for nonsense when we have this battle to fight.
When you are focused on the battle everything else fades away in comparison. It just took some time to realize it and accept it.
