Downplaying my own chronic issues
Since DX in 2024, I continue to swing from denial that I have cancer to OMG, I have cancer. I CAN'T (mental block) share my struggles with anyone in my social world because I also downplay my own issues. I don't share (with husband or kids) that I constantly am in pain, afraid to take any medication outside of my TKI, can't sleep for a full 2 hours, let alone the entire night, and sometime just too physically and mentally fogged and fatigued and not just being lazy. All the time, pushing through it all and thankful to not be worse off.
I feel like I am on a train that I cannot stop or slow down, where my CML is not really an issue. After all, "I won't die from CML" and "I don't look sick". I think hearing this has made me to downplay my own chronic issues.
Have you felt this way? How do deal with this? Better yet, what should I be doing for myself?
It sounds like you are overwhelmed, which is 100% a valid response to all that is going on. It makes you not want to do anything and can literally freeze you in place. Especially the not sleeping thing. You may not be able to slow down the CLM train but you can certainly just try to do one thing a day or every few days or even one a week. That may help to start getting some things moving forward again. It's what I do when I am basicly overhwhelmed for a month or two and things start to pile up. I do one thing a day or two, and then that's it. Evetualy it clears out. If you need help just ask, we will do whatever we can to help from here. Above all, you are not alone! Keep on keepin 'on, DPM
