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Susan Gonsalves
Why do you think they do it? How do you cope with it?
Connie Connely Contributor
That's been a thorn in my side, too. My friend read one of my articles telling of my life expectancy. She said, " Oh, I didn't know it was that bad!" That's because you don't listen, I thought. I don't have a cold.
People assume there is a fix for everything. When I explained that I wasn't interested in substituting at my former school because of my diagnosis of blood cancer, one lady I had just met said, "Oh, you'll be fine!"
How do I cope? I refuse to let someone bully me into something that I am not sure if I have the energy. As much as I enjoy spending time with friends, if I don't feel up to going out, I don't. Even at church, when I am asked to help and I am lacking the stamina, I have said, "Since I helped last time, I thought someone else could help this time."
Amanda Brunson Moderator & Contributor
When people reply with comments like that, I get so frustrated because it’s so insensitive. I wonder 💭 when people mention insensitive comments if they think twice about what came out their mouth.
Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
Thanks for answering. Normally I can just chalk it up to someone being ignorant but it is a sore spot at times after 7 1/2 years of mostly struggling with CML. On another site (which I've just withdrawn from), I was chastised for calling it cancer when it was likened to high blood pressure and scolded and told that everyone responds to the medication within a year and is fine. As politely as possible, I wrote my usual, "not everyone experiences the same," things and that it is great when you have a good outcome but please be aware that everyone does not have the same experience. The back and forth continued on the other person's end, not mine, and I was accused of "fear mongering," and I'd had enough. It's bad enough dealing with people I know who still don't get it, but don't need to get annoyed by strangers. Just wondered if others run into this situation. I learned a long time ago that if I was not up for some outing to just say no--rather than suffer later.
Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
Amanda Brunson Moderator & Contributor
Honestly I wish there was more compassion and an understanding for what other people are going through. Unfortunately, the world 🌎 is not set up like that😔
Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
Katelynn Bauer Moderator & Contributor
As
As for coping, I try to distract myself with things that make me happy. No matter how extra they are. If I want to pretend it's Christmas for the day that's what I'm going to do. Also being here helps, everyone here actually gets it and understands. There's a wonderful support system in place here. Therapy also helps, and writing out my feelings can be a good way to get the bad feelings out. It can still be hard at times though, but it's a process.
Reading all of the comments above, I'm so sorry the things that you guys have experienced. It sucks, I hope from here on out it's smooth sailing. <3