Is This Real?

At this moment I cannot even think of a title to put down for my story. It’s been such a whirlwind. My story starts off with having Covid in March of 2021. I started having some very bad bone pain in my breast bone area that soon radiated to my right clavicle area that would not go away. No over-the-counter meds helped and I couldn’t get my family doc to listen to me whatsoever.

Multiple myeloma

After two and a half months of asking for a ct scan, because the two X-rays she ordered showed nothing, I decided to change doctors. Two days later I got a ct scan with contrast and two days after that I got the disturbing news that it could be cancer. My new doc gave me the option to see either a bone specialist first or an oncologist. I chose to see the oncologist. I said let’s go ahead and get this out of the way. The following week I saw what is now my oncologist.

The bone lesions and the proteins in my blood showed I have Multiple Myeloma. A bone marrow biopsy just confirmed what we already knew. I’ve had 15 rounds of radiation on my right clavicle but nothing helps the pain. Some days are better than others. I have multiple lesions threw out my body but my collarbone is the worse. I’m 41 years old. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told this is a 70-year-olds cancer.

Doesn't seem real

In January 2022, I went threw a stem cell transplant. I don’t remember much from the first couple of weeks due to my being so sick. My husband and I spent a while away from home so I could be closer to my team. I sure missed my kiddos and my grandbabies. We got threw it and got to come home. It’s been a long journey so far.

The days are getting better but nothing like I used to be. I take a chemo pill daily for maintenance. They tell me that the high dose of chemo for the stem cell transplant and the chemo pill I’m taking now puts me at risk for developing leukemia. That plays in the back of my mind. Like how is one supposed to function when it’s always there?!

My husband has been the best. He’s had his own round of illnesses. 3 years of dialysis and then a kidney transplant. He developed cryptococcal meningitis and we spent a while in the hospital. He’s a walking miracle we’ve been told. Being strong is the only option I feel I have at this point. I think a lot of my family including my kids are in denial about how serious this is. I have to be strong for them as well. Some days I will catch myself and say omg I have cancer. Some days I'm in denial because it just doesn’t seem real. Even with all I’ve been threw it just doesn’t seem real.