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A Dark Companion

I have a companion whose been with me for the last eighteen years. She’s been with me through many good and bad times. Just to give her credit, she’s been the barer of many of my bad times. She was introduced to me on March 12th, 2000 at 2:00 PM. Meeting her was quite an experience. You can probably tell from the details I still retain of the very moment in time we met that her influence has been indelible. As a matter of fact, when her name was mentioned, I felt the earth stand still for just a moment. The surrealist tone of the moment produced a quake-like effect once I heard her name. Sixteen years later, she’s with me twenty-four, seven; however, I don’t think of her as much as in the earlier years. I know she’s there, because she’s tenacious in her efforts to hold onto me. There is no 911 call or court issued restraining order I can make or secure that will insure that she’s a certain number of feet from my presence.

The emotional weight of an invisible illness

It’s quite a strange sensation at times to know you have a companion that has latched onto you as if she wants to consume your very being. At times she attacks you with what seems like the compassion of a psychotic lover, who would be committed to causing you harm rather than have anyone else have you. Through the years, her presence has resulted in me experiencing emotional, mental and physical trauma. I‘ve sent up countless prayers. Family members and friends have done the same. As a believer in prayer, I am convinced that these appeals to God have kept me from being destroyed by her. I think at times she probably feels the effects of heavenly intervention, but she knows corruptible influence of this world is routing for her seeing me as her victim someday. On the other hand, I feel stronger as time progresses; because I know the receiver of my intercessory words has more power than hers.

Coping with my companion

My companion is Multiple Myeloma, a form of cancer that attacks the plasma cells. Normal plasma cells are found in the bone marrow and are an important part of the immune system. Therefore, my constant companion for the last decade and a half has been malignant plasma cells, attacking my skeletal structure and creating havoc within my body wherever she can get hold. There is no cure to rid my temple of this quiet, insidious entity that accompanies me everywhere I go. Though I respect her and the influence she’s had on my life, and the lives of family and friends, I refused to yield to her. She’s not welcomed, but I’ve had to live with her anyway. The idea is to live, regardless of the reality that my companion would rather I not. She’s not the ruler of this temple.

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Comments

  • fastfingersfreddie
    1 year ago

    Hi this story is about my brother who has stage 3 multiple myeloma with kidney dialysis 3 times a week his kidneys are in stage 4 and he has a out of a b and c in the most aggressive myeloma there is although he has a positive outlook and he really wants to try to do something with this he is not understanding that is not curable it’s treatable he has tumors on his spine which causes him pain everyday and he keeps thinking it’s sciatica and carpal tunnel and his doctor tells him it is from the myeloma he is not listening and wants to think that it’s not that he know seems to think that as soon as he has the stem cell you can get back to being a regular life again just by doing this thing he doesn’t realize how bad that is and it can actually kill him I tried to help him in every way possible take him to his appointments his dialysis and all that stuff and it’s just difficult I just wanted to share this story

  • Anthony Carrone moderator
    1 year ago

    @fastfingersfreddie – Thank you so much for sharing your story. We are so sorry to hear about your brother’s diagnosis. I know it can be difficult to watch a loved one go through this experience. It sounds like you are doing the best you can, and you are an amazing brother for doing so. I am sure your brother appreciates the effort you are putting in. Please know we are always here for you when you need us. Warmly, Anthony (Team Member)

  • Joannb56
    1 year ago

    Thanks for giving me hope. My mm started 5 years ago, but took 6 MONTHS to get diagnosed, had auto stem cell transplant 4yrs 3 months ago today. It is so encouraging to see someone so far out from diagnosis. Fight on.

  • hlong550 author
    1 year ago

    Thanks!

  • fastfingersfreddie
    1 year ago

    Do you have to do dialysis with your myeloma like my brother.

  • hlong550 author
    1 year ago

    No. I don’t. I did fall into relapse at the end of 2016. My oncologist put me on Daratumumab infusions, combined with Revlimid for the full year of 2017. I’m now in partial remission, taking Revlimid (25 mg) alone, (21days on, 7 days off cycle). I’m in partial remission now. Things continue to be good for after all this time.

  • Anthony Carrone moderator
    1 year ago

    hlong550 – Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I was entranced by your writing. I look forward to reading more. Please know we are always here for you when “she” is nagging. -Anthony (Team Member)

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