Glass Bottomed Boat
A blatantly self-serving lead-in
I recently posted a blog on my personal site, titled “Lessons Learned on the Way to Gili T”. It is in 2 parts and can be found at effcancerblog.com. (Sorry for the obvious plug, but necessary as a lead-in to this story)
The good news is that although this article is somewhat of a take-off of “Gili T”, reading it isn’t necessary. In any case, I’ll do my best to give you a synopsis here.
“Gili T” is about a crisis turned adventure that beset my wife and I about 10 years ago. Little did I know, this crisis was going to give me some valuable insight for the much bigger crisis that would change my life permanently, namely, multiple myeloma.
More than that though, it is about how if you reflect on your life, you may see coincidences, karma, blessings, crises, and people fitting together like puzzle pieces, leading you to your life’s destination. Ultimately, you’ll realize more likely than not, that destination is exactly where you are meant to be.
Some more background
Gili Trawangan (Gili “T”) is a small island in Indonesia, nestled between Lombok and Bali. About the only way to get there back then was by fishing boat. It has no cars, and only horses, your feet, and bikes to get around. It is more of a destination for backpackers and college kids, taking a year off before heading back to life. An idyllic place to rest and contemplate…
Once we finally got there and settled in, we started making our plans for things to do. One of them included taking a “glass bottomed boat” ride to some of the other small islands in the area. This part of the world is known for scuba diving and amazing aquatic life. We couldn’t wait. We’d be out on the ocean most of the day without a care in the world.
C'mon Wayan, and make maa-day
Again, something was going to happen I wasn’t aware of at the time, that would eventually impact my thoughts on life in general. It’s interesting that sometimes in life, when things seem too good to be true, you end up getting challenged in ways you weren’t expecting. This was one of those times.
One of my good friends, Jeff, owned land on the island, so he pretty much knew everyone there. One of those people was a jack of all trades named Made (pronounced Maa-day). He also had his sidekick named Wayan with him most of the time. Of course, Made had the boat.
The morning of the trip, we arrived early to our meeting point on the beach. Made and Wayan had big smiles and waved us down to the boat. It was a little run down on the outside, but we weren’t expecting a yacht. The bottom wasn’t actually glass, but a very clear, thick, plastic.
We were all excited and busy loading food and beverages for the day so didn’t notice something about the boat that we probably should have. Something we weren’t expecting....
Hmm... something seems amiss
About a half a mile out into the ocean, Sue, my wife, nudged me and pointed down. I thought she had spotted something majestic swimming below the boat, so my gaze followed her finger. Unfortunately, what she spotted was actually inside the boat... water that wasn’t there when we left the shore. Upon further inspection we saw that at the seams, where the plastic bottom pieces were joined together, a lot of putty had evidently been used as water proofing. Looking more closely you could also see those seams had probably been repaired several times. Lo and behold, it also looked like they needed to repairing again. Ocean water was leaking in. Oh s**t....
At that point, I felt compelled to let everyone know what was going on. When we finally got the attention of Made, he just smiled and sent Wayan to fetch a pail, so he could bail water every once in a while. “No problem Mr. Mike”. Jeff and his son Axel had been on the boat before and also assured us we were okay. Axel was even ready to help bail.
I guess I wasn’t totally convinced. To say the least, the rest of my day was mostly spent looking at the bottom of the boat. Much of my attention was being paid to the leak, how fast I could get a life jacket on, whether or not the radio was working for a “mayday”, and how fast Wayan was bailing water. I’m really not sure if Sue took her eyes off the leaks.
Maybe we shouldn't have done this At the time, Sue and I were convinced this was the reason we shouldn’t have taken this trip (reference to my "Gili T" blog). So, here I was, with this magnificent beauty, literally all around me, and a perfect chance to commune with God and nature.... and pretty much all I could think about, was that damn leak, or if Wayan was bailing quickly enough.The fact that I’m writing this blog lets you know we eventually made it back to dry land. Over the years I’ve mostly viewed this day as another adventure caused by a very questionable decision. Today, I basically feel the same, but also realize how it created another metaphor for life, as well as, for battling blood cancer or any chronic disease. Hey, as a writer, you have to take your opportunities where you get them....Leaks and buckets...life with multiple myelomaIn everyday life, the majority of what we pay attention to, are our problems and worries; with a constant conversation going on with ourselves, and a movie playing in our brain of all the worst case scenarios; (the leaks). On the flip side, we constantly looking at ways of staying in the game; climbing the employment ladder, making more money, planning for retirement, and having more chips than others; (the buckets). We miss so much of the beauty all around us; our families, friends, nature, meeting new people, and enjoying our “holy” connection with all of them when our focus is on leaks and buckets. Please understand that this viewpoint is coming from a “Baby Boomer”, so it may not totally apply to you.In dealing with cancer, you still have the leaks and the bucket, but the leaks can turn into geysers, and the bucket is now the size of a Starbucks Grande coffee cup. Your total focus is on your leaks (getting the diagnosis, finding a doctor, telling your family, chemo, etc., etc., etc.) There is basically no beauty in your world, and no bucket big enough to bail with.Somehow, over time though; after all the broken bones, the anger, the chemo, the marrow transplant, and the long recovery, your 99% focus on the leaks, starts fading a little. The leaks are still there, but not geysers, and the important people in your life all have buckets, and are helping you bail.Hold your head highAt some point (different for everyone), you finally get a chance to raise your head, take off your helmet and look around. Slowly, as if looking through morning haze on your windshield, you start seeing all that beauty you had been missing during the heat of the battle. For some of us, we realize we were missing much of that beauty even when we weren’t sick.In looking up though, you now have a decision to make, you can decide to keep looking up, taking in all the beauty that is life, or you can go back to staring at the leaks.This doesn’t mean you never look at the leaks, or deal with the geysers, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t going to continue to have many days of serious bailing. It just simply means; we all need to take full advantage of the moments being given back to us, and keep our primary gaze on the things of life we shouldn’t be missing, and the beauty all around us.
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