Angry man tears off last page of desk calendar, revealing a new year.

What A Year

What. A. Year. Who would have thought that it would have been like this?! In a weird way, it’s nice to have lived through something unprecedented that will be written about in years to come for good or bad reasons. Like all the major wars. There has very much been a ‘blitz’ like approach to life this year in the UK. Communities coming together and doing what they can to help each other, which has been wonderful. It’s a bit sad that it takes a global pandemic, having to stay at home with limited movement and access to things for this to happen. But, it’s pretty amazing what has happened in terms of kindness. And once again I have witnessed that personally this week.

Lockdown, again

London got locked down again at very short notice. It was a matter of hours. The announcement was around 4 pm and lockdown hit at 1 minute past midnight 8 hours later. I should clarify that the government is calling it tier 4, but it’s the same measures as the recent lockdown in November, so I’m calling it lockdown. Anyway, I got stuck in London as I have two clients that I was legally allowed to see face to face and I wasn’t going to bail on them. So instead of heading home today, the 23rd, which was the date we were allowed to travel, I am still in London and until last night, it looked like I was going to have Christmas on my own. When I mentioned this on social media, the love and support I received was HUGE. When the announcement happened over the weekend, I also had so many calls and messages from people to see if I got out as they know I am on my own. Once again, the love and care I get from people, which so many never see, I have seen again. Which is very wonderful.

It has been confirmed that I am spending it with the man and hound which will be very nice. Not what Christmas was going to be. I will miss seeing my family. But spending it with him is a million times better than spending it on my own! Things have shifted with him since the summer and my fertility stuff starting. I don’t want to say that he will be the father and we will be together, because I don’t know. I think we will. I hope we will. But like with Christmas and only knowing two days before that won’t be on my own, I suspect similar timing will happen with baby stuff.

My Leukaemic rate is still good!

So this year has been, well, not one you can really sum up in a word, or a sentence. There have been huge plus points. My jeans of doom still fit. My Leukaemic rate is still really low, so I’m definitely on track for coming off treatment in the Spring. My fertility test results have all been so much better than I thought they would be. I did a DUTCH test (functional medicine test) that looks at more hormone markers than the NHS test and I was OVER THE MOON with how good the results were. Yes, a couple could be better. But you know what, I thought my hormones were going to be f***ed and they REALLY aren’t! In fact, they are all pretty good! I have no reason why I thought they would be so bad. I wondered if nearly 14 years of chemo would have had a negative impact. But it hasn’t! I’m also taking so many supplements, but it’s all good. I only want to have one round of IFV next year and for it to be successful, so I’m happy to be doing all my health stuff.

Work has also been good. Whilst I’m completely fed up with seeing the majority of my clients on zoom, rather than in person, it has meant that I have had people book in who never would have done before because of location. So that’s been fab.

Not all bad

All my family is fine as are my friends, so I’m grateful for that. I know not everyone can say the same.

So whilst it’s not the year I thought it would be: I was hoping to have started fertility treatment in November and ideally be pregnant by now, I wasn’t able to see my friends on my birthday as it was in the November lockdown, no doubt my January Cancerversary will also be in lockdown, I haven’t seen as much of my friend (I have managed to see some), I’m still not 'in a relationship’ with the man. But, I haven’t had to say goodbye to anyone this year. So for all these reasons, 2020 hasn’t been ideal, but it hasn’t been bad either. And here’s to a better 2021!

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