Jumanji Path, Post-Cancer! Where Do I Turn?

There is a first for everything, and today is no exception. Usually, I would create a video for you all. I love the videos because you get to see my face, I feel more in tune with you all, and you have the option to interpret my body language and transparency.

Trying something new

This time, I am going to step outside of my comfort zone and tell you another transparent moment. I am dyslexic, and by the International Dyslexia Association's definition, it is "a learning disability which affects the skills involved in reading, spelling, and writing. It does not impair intelligence."1

I say all this so as I write my article and something is a bit wonky, you will know why.

Finding myself at a standstill

So this last year has been very difficult! I find myself at a standstill. I beat cancer twice, and now, after cancer treatment as an adolescent young adult (AYA), I am a bit lost. While all the rest of my peers are far along in life, I am just beginning my life. I find myself wondering what career should I take. When do I get brave enough to start dating? How do I not freak out about a simple cold and not think, "OH no! Is this a relapse?!" Don’t get me started on how you stop treatment, and all of a sudden, the doctors tell you to go back, live life to the norm, and see you in six months.

The transition to no more treatment is hard

As if your life wasn’t on hold for such a long time…the transition back to no more treatment is hard. The new norm is difficult. Also, I know for sure there are things I should know at 35 years old, and I don't know because I spent all of my 20s in cancer treatment. I even find myself going down a rabbit hole just thinking, "What do I do?!"

I have come very far

Of course! I am very proud of myself and how far I have come. I keep in mind to give myself grace. I also recognize, by society's standards, that I am delayed in growth. It’s a weird place to be in mentally.

And when I hear other peers in my age group speak about babies and getting married, and all the other stuff that comes with my age group, I find it foreign to me.

I went from being in college to saving my life, and now I’m grateful I’m healthy by the grace of God, but I find myself in this Jumanji path post cancer trying to find my way.

Trying not to compare myself to others

So here again, I’m at a standstill, wondering how to move, what to do, and how to do it. Especially in the work field. I’m starting from the very bottom, working my way up, and other young adults like me are already set in their careers. Honestly, I don’t mean to play or want to play the comparison game, but it’s hard not to.

I try my best to just walk in my lane. On a positive note, if there’s one thing that many young adults have not gotten down pat yet. It is the fact that I know who I am what I want, and I’m comfortable in who I am; that can’t be shaken. I’m just confused about how to go about using my God-given talent to serve others. I do a lot of praying to God to get guidance on how to properly steward my gifts to others.

I’m not sure if this relates to all who read this article, but I’m sure there are others just like me in the same predicament, and I want you to know that you’re not alone. I am definitely with you, and together, we will get through somehow, someway. I’m not sure how, but we will.

In the words of Forrest Gump, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.” He was so RIGHT ‼️

Gratefully, with love

Amanda 🐼🧡✨

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