I'm Over Overthinking
I was trying to think about a topic to write about today and realized my brain has been on overdrive lately with overthinking. So let’s open up a discussion about that.
I’ve always been bad about overthinking. I think originally it stemmed from my childhood. I had depression and a lot of other things going on that I won’t go into, but I at least know that and can try to work with it. I try to calm down and turn off my thoughts but it’s extremely difficult. It got especially bad while I was in active treatment. “Was I too open with my diagnosis? Do I look like I’m trying to get attention? Do they hate me? What if my symptoms are mostly in my head and they think I’ve been lying the whole time?” It was exhausting.
Trying to communicate
With my overthinking comes over-explaining. I can’t keep all of my thoughts locked up in my head, so when I start acting distant and awkward, I try to communicate why I feel the way I do. This helps, but in the moment, I can get so anxious I forget everything I wanted to say and then need to communicate more and I always have this fear of the other party getting so annoyed with me that they won’t want to hang out with me anymore. It’s a vicious cycle. I have to remind myself no one hates me, it’s not all in my head, my feelings are valid, and that I really should see a therapist once I can afford to.
I was actually doing pretty well as far as not overthinking things post-remission. It started up again recently. I think I just have a lot of things on my mind and new experiences that maybe I’m still trying to get used to. It’s no wonder I’ve been feeling a little more lethargic lately.
Self-care is so important
It’s times like these I have to remind myself about how important self-care is. I’ve been trying to make sure I have nice scents fill the house, playing music that I like, cuddling more with loved ones. I’ve also been trying to eat better, more veggies and fruits, less red meats, more chicken, etc. I also need to learn to forgive myself when things get rough. Have you ever tried to fall asleep and remember every single embarrassing thing you’ve ever done hit you at 1 am? Bleh. I realized though, especially during active treatment overthinking can be a problem for a lot of people. It can be hard to talk about, even just writing this I’m a bit nervous to post it but I’m hoping that my experience can help someone else who may be feeling the same way. So let’s talk about it. Do you overthink? What do you think triggers it if anything? What do you find helps you when it gets to be too much? I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts and stories.
Warm wishes, Katelynn
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