Monster in My Closet

When I was a kid there was no doubt in my mind there were monsters in the closet, but every time I’d get my mom or dad to look, I’d see the resigned shake of a head, a pitying smile, and hear the same words used by generations past and future; “There’s nothing there honey, don’t you know that are no such things as monsters.”

When they left, all I would have to do was look at the bedroom window to see those disgusting things looking in with their pumpkin shaped heads, foreboding eyes, and toothy, evil smiles, as they mocked me and my parents.

On most nights, I’d just put my blanket over my head until they left, and fall asleep. On particularly bad nights, I would hunker down, stealthily make my way across the room to my sister’s bed and jump in for protection.

Early monsters

As I grew older, I realized my parents were truthful about not finding any monsters in the closet, but oh, were they so wrong about monsters existing. Whether it be lack of knowledge (which I don’t buy for a second) or their need and duty as a parent to protect me, they were maybe just a little dishonest about that part of it. Monsters were actually everywhere...

During that time long ago, the monsters were mostly identifiable (at least we thought they were). They included the Communists, atomic bombs, thalidomide (yeah, almost the same exact stuff that helps keep me alive today), and strangers that offered you candy to get into their car.

Reefer madness

As we got into our early teen years, we still had some of the same monsters like the Communists, especially the ones in Vietnam and China. The newer monsters became a little more subtle and ominous.  Marijuana continued to get more attention as a monster. “Reefer Madness” was played in health class every year. We loved watching it because it made us laugh more than the stuff they were talking about. It was far from scary to us teenagers, although, in retrospect, there were some more serious drugs starting to be marketed, which were and still are, much scarier.

It’s ironic though, how cigarettes and alcohol were being mass marketed to the Baby Boomers with a wink and a nod. I think that is the time when a lot of eyes started opening up to seeing the potential of hidden monsters that very few people thought were there; just like the ones in my closet.

The scariest part of all of this was that these hidden monsters were just the snack for one of the biggest, baddest monsters around; the one people whispered about back then; the one most people called the “Big C”.

"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”

In my teens up to my late 30’s, many of the usual monsters went off my radar. I was too busy going to school, finding a career, having fun with new friends, and raising a family. It was still a pretty “safe” time in many respects. Even the Communists weren’t as scary anymore. The Berlin Wall had fallen and the USSR just wasn’t what it had been. Of course, this was the period of time we had to experience 80’s music (Sorry Wham and Thompson Twin fans). Not monsters, but perfect music for the times.

The new breed

During this time, a new breed of monster did hit the scene. These were the modern version of “strangers with candy”. They had names like Manson, Gacy, BTK, Zodiac, Watts, Dahmer, and the one who actually took the life of a friend of mine... Bundy. It seemed like you couldn’t watch the news without hearing about one of these scary people. They had most of us riveted to the television. Macabre and sensational were now the martinis we looked for at the end of the day. I guess that hasn’t changed much even though time has moved on.

During my forties and fifties, that Communism monster started making a comeback, but with a distinct capitalist edge, especially China, where much of the free world was helping create this new, more powerful, Frankenstein. At the time though, they were nothing compared Osama bin Laden, Columbine crazies, the emergence of “global warming”, the “Great Recession”, and Facebook (who would have known).

Name that monster

The unnamed, hidden monsters were still being talked about more and more but continued taking a back seat to those that were the darlings of the media. Some of them were also being sent overseas along with our production to actually become more dangerous to more people.

The good news was that conversations about the “Big C” were also getting louder, with society actually wanting to do something about it, which included naming some of the hidden monsters feeding this big monster, whose name had become very well recognized.

Unfortunately, by this time, a lot of damage had already been done by these hidden creatures. Little did I know at the time, they had been, and were wreaking havoc on my, and many other’s bodies.

When the Spring before my 60th birthday hit, those hidden monsters, laying in wait in the proverbial closet, had made their move, and I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma.

Why and how?

As I started considering the potential causes of my disease, I could see that there had been hidden monsters lurking around in my daily life for years. They probably had a very direct relationship with my diagnosis of the “Big C”. They ran the gamut of an EPA Superfund sight I grew up near to, if not right on top of, to landscaping products I used religiously for decades. I found out these hidden monsters were the most dangerous ones because I didn’t know they were there until it was too late. Whatever happened to the good old days of Mao and Khrushchev?

What’s the point?

I guess many of you are wondering what the point of this blog is? Believe me, it’s not to make light of things like Communism; it’s really not to try to lay blame for my cancer either. I’ll let public opinion and the courts do that. It also is not to start a monster ranking contest, which could be an interesting game. Lastly, it’s not meant to say the monsters I mention are worse than so many others out there (except some 80’s music). There are plenty more monsters, just not enough paper space for this already long blog.

My most basic point is; don’t believe anyone who says “monsters don’t exist”, even if they can’t see them. Be vigilant for yourself, your children, and your grandchildren. Point these fiends, with their toothy smiles out for what they are. Educate yourselves on the most recent medical and environmental topics. Demand responsibility. Don’t be afraid to name these monsters out loud, and in public, because the worst ones may be the ones we can’t see...yet.