Triggers
As I write this post, I’m challenged as I think about the recent, devastating passing of all-time sports hero, Kobe Bryant. The news that pulsated every television channel last Sunday was heartfelt and very sad. As my family, along with many other fans around the world, sat by the tv, I thought about how news of death triggers my own emotions about life and death.
My feelings about life and death
The word cancer is damning at all levels because it opens up the discussion of whether I might die from this horrid thing. I’ve written before how I had one hard cry early on after my diagnosis that included dying, God, and why me in the same sentence. What I can say is that 11 years after my myeloma diagnosis, though the word cancer still holds strong in my mind, it does not stop me from dreaming, doing, and living.
My mantra to live life until the wheels fall off is not an understatement. It’s unfortunate this is the card we were dealt, but sometimes, one can look and actually see someone else’s situation that may be more challengings than our own mess. One might wonder, “Now, how can me having cancer be of less importance than what someone else has going on”? The answer comes down to where you are in your life and if you can see things from a different perspective. It’s about growth as an individual and being open to reflections along this journey.
Moving forward despite blood cancer
I know when we hear that someone has passed away, especially in this blood cancer community, we can’t help but wonder when and how. Let's face it, many of us put up a big curtain and curtail those emotions and fears about death. My trigger is always during the holidays. My mind drifts to thoughts of, "Will this be my last year on this earth?" The thoughts can be morbid, so this is why it is very necessary to keep moving forward in our script of life. We mustn’t stop doing what we want to do and learning what we need to learn. Our part in humanity is to keep doing all of those things and living despite a body rocked with issues. I believe that somewhere in this mess there’s a lesson to be learned.
Facing the unknown
No one really knows when our final day will show its face. For some, it may be sooner than later, or vice versa. Despite it all, I continue to accomplish as much as I can because I do know this for sure: Tomorrow is not promised for any of us, so how we live, grow, and learn in this moment is important. A friend posted a fitting quote from Kobe Bryant - something to consider as we move forward in figuring out our own situation.
"It’s the one thing you can control. You are responsible for how people remember you- or don’t so don’t take it lightly.” Kobe Bryant1
I will end this by saying... Stay encouraged, do, and live till the wheels fall off, my squad.2
Rest in heaven
Kobe Bryant
Gianna Bryant
John Altobelli
Keri Altobelli
Alyssa Altobelli
Sarah Chester
Payton Chester
Christina Mauser
Ara Zobayan
The time to fight is now, with integrity, grace, hope, and a smile….when you feel like it
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