A Different Headspace

I think I’ve now had 2 blood cancer appointments where my consultant hasn’t talked about my going back on treatment or double checking I’ve got some ‘just in case’ which is pretty amazing. And good. Because I don’t have any. It all expired so I returned it to my clinic in my last appointment. So she knows I don’t have any. And I’m back to 8-week appointments, which is also fab! Not that I ever mind going in.

But for a few months, I was back to 4-week appointments, which made me worry a bit. As I suppose it would. Did I need to be monitored that closely? Surely I’m safe? Does it mean my leukaemic rate is going to climb and keep climbing?

No.

Stress of moving causes rates to rise

I’m back to 8-weeks and after a rise in my result. It shot up a bit from 0.009 to 0.014. I think it was from moving stress. So not really a surprise. God, moving is stressful. I hate it. I’ve always hated it. And my body hates it too. Try and avoid doing it as much as possible! But anyways. Hopefully I’m at this address for a while. Because moving is S. T. R. E. S. S. F. U. L. But after a month here it’s gone back down to 0.007 which is. Well. Bloody brilliant!!!

Is my body behaving now?

And more good news in my check-up which I completely hadn’t clocked before. This makes me think I hadn’t asked the right question or mentioned the right thing for it to be mentioned which is that it seems to be that if the leukaemic rate doesn’t rise out of major molecular response (remission) in the first 6 months of treatment then it’s likely to stay there for a while!

I think my consultant said 5 years but I can’t remember so don’t quote me on that. The upshot is that it looks like my body should behave for long enough for my toddler to no longer be a toddler and no longer dependent on me in the way that she is at the moment without me having to rush anything because of going back on treatment. So that’s ace!

Will I be able to have a second baby?

And it also chills me out about potential baby number two and my consultant suggesting that I go back on treatment for a year before that happens. But I don’t know if baby number two is in my future...I’ll just have to see what happens. I hope it is because my daughter is so sweet with younger children. Admittedly they aren’t mine so she’s not having to share her Mummy. And I know her reaction would probably be very different to the baby being mine. But. You never know. I was totally chilled when my little brother was born and just wanted to help all the time, so she could well be like me.

Time will tell.

Switching off the worry for a while

So I’m in a different headspace about my appointments at the moment. That bit of info from my consultant a couple of weeks ago really helped to switch off the worry. Which is good. As that doesn’t help anything.

And my big thing to remember for my next appointment is a Christmas card and present for her as it’s in mid December. And if all is well, I won’t see her again until February. Which is a bit bonkers really.

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