Making CML the Headline

I recently had a follow-up telehealth visit with my primary doctor. She asked me about any health concerns I was having and what she could do to help.

Concerning test results

First, we talked about recent test results from a neuroimmunologist that appeared alarming and resulted in my hematologist sending me for a CAT scan screening for lung cancer.

The good news is that it showed I do not have lung cancer. The bad news is that I have weird antibodies that are precursors to it, and I do not know why.

Waiting too long to hear from the doctor

The other bad news is that it took three weeks before the neuroimmunologist called to talk about the results of the antibody tests (which were posted and I figured out via online resources).

Then, the time between the scan and the results also was another three weeks. In the meantime, I was trying to stay calm but that was difficult seeing as though I was possibly facing a second cancer diagnosis.

One cancer, chronic myeloid leukemia, is enough.

Other conditions get in the way

We then talked about carpal tunnel I am suddenly having in several of my fingers and arm. My fingers tingle and are numb with that “pins and needles” feeling that shoots up my arm like an electrical charge. I was advised to bring it up with a therapist I am seeing for another problem, which I will, but must wait several weeks to get an appointment.

Another topic was a lump on the bottom of my foot which was x-rayed because it is below the skin but they found nothing. It is impeding my already hindered walking ability and frankly, hurting a lot. That led to another referral she will take care of.

Are you getting the picture?

If you are reading this, you are on a blood cancer site likely wondering why I am blathering on about other medical problems. Exactly.

Reminding myself to focus on my leukemia

Following a brief discussion on how working at a half dozen places as a journalist, while financially necessary, is wearing me down physically, my doctor said: “Susan, you need to make your CML the headline.”

I recognized this advice as a variation of something my hematologist has told me over the past 10 years since my diagnosis.

The hematologist now and then interjects, “Remember you have leukemia, Susan.”

In other words, they both are reminding me that CML should be my focus, uppermost on my mind and these other health problems are secondary. They are also telling me I can't expect to be Wonder Woman and do all the things I used to do. My life has changed.

(I will not relay other bits of Yoda type advice she gave me that day, but they stuck with me).

The headline thing, though.

Speaking my language

I live in a world of headlines, subheads, cutlines, paragraphs, sentences, etc. as an editor and writer over the past 35 plus years. Yep, I’m that old.

To be clear, the doctors are not telling me to ignore or not seek help for my other medical problems. But my primary said if they are not impacting my day-to-day life, I need to step back from freaking out over them and try to ignore “incidental” findings on x-rays, for example.

Instead of re-hashing some ongoing issues that doctors have no explanation for (and there are a few!), she is advising me to think about how CML is the headline in my life. It is a main plotline in my story.

There is a saying in journalism about burying the lead. That is when an article goes on and on for a few paragraphs before getting to the main point.

Over the past 10 years, I sometimes bury the lead of my leukemia.

Is it deliberate? Am I trying to put it out of my mind? Because it is impossible to forget.

Is it because I am overwhelmed by side effects and symptoms and trying to find a less severe cause for them?

In the days ahead, amidst the hustle and bustle of life, I will give my CML the status it deserves – as the dominating medical condition with which I live. Let's see if that helps my story.