Blood Cancer: A Lesson Learned

When I was first diagnosed with blood cancer, my oncologist took the time to lay out what the anticipated treatment plan might look like. He was anticipating my receiving 6 intense treatments of R-CHOP Chemo once a week every three weeks throughout a 6-to-7-month timeframe. He noted my first infusion, unlike the follow-up treatments, would need to be performed at the main hospital, versus at one of the many convenient remote in-patient treatment centers in the area.

When I asked why I needed to travel into the center city area, he explained that the chemicals were quite potent, and it was not uncommon for patients to experience significant and adverse reactions. He assured me if something went wrong during my infusion, it would be much better all-around if immediate emergency resources were on hand. His explanation did not put me at ease.

Shocked at the length of an infusion

Given this was my first experience with chemotherapy, I inquired on how long a typical infusion session might last. His answer shocked me upon learning it could range between 7 to 8 hours. I simply could not imagine sitting in a lounge chair for an entire day hooked up to a stand filled with tubes, wires, and countless bottles and plastic bags loaded with deadly cancer-killing poisons.

While the prospect of remaining immobile for 8 hours was overwhelming to me, as far as the doctor and his support team were concerned, all of this was quite routine and very matter-of-fact. I took a deep breath said a short prayer and trusted that my future was going to be OK.

There was no way I could control how my body would react to the chemical infusion. The only thing I had control over was my thoughts and how I envisioned myself in that environment. After calming down it dawned on me that no matter how hard we all try to get everything done every day, there are and will be things that will remain undone, be it for a day, week, month, year, or longer. For years my type “A” personality drove me to get everything done as quickly as possible every day. Perhaps for the first time in my life, I asked myself the question: why?

An important lesson

The lesson learned was a simple one. When the top priority on your list gets done, many other things magically come along and fill in the void, leaving us feeling a bit unbalanced every day. Facing chemo and the prospect of spending 8 hours in a treatment center isolated thanks to COVID from my family simply meant I needed to find a way to relax and accept that leaving things unattended was OK.

No matter how often or hard we try, none of us can manage time. It simply marches on whether we like it or not.  The best we can do is to focus on the few things we do well in the time we have. I was facing chemo. There were no other options; it was something that had to be done. It was no longer a question of how I was going to sit for 8 hours of treatment. It was now about focusing on the here and now. I decided to pack up my laptop, grab a set of headphones, and enjoy 8 hours of relaxation every few weeks verses viewing it as 8 hours of chemo infusion.

Blood cancer taught me one important lesson: focus on giving full and undivided attention to doing one thing at a time to the best of your ability.