Changing Faces
Have you ever met someone for the first time, and when the introductions take place, they usually start off with a name and “How are you doing?” Normally we reply “Oh, just fine”, it’s the statement ingrained in proper etiquette, but not really so, as you may really feel like crap. It’s just the situation we sometimes find ourselves in when showing the different faces to appease others. Most people put on a show and show their various faces to make the process doable, so let’s dissect a few of those changing faces.
Our changing faces
Smirk
A smirk usually puts it all on the table when describing how you’re coping. That smirk can easily be a sign of you’ve had it with treatment, poking, and not feeling 100 percent. The smirk can also read other sentiments on what you really think about being in the situation you’re in, and the people around you. Sometimes people in this way may be on the verge of cussing, and really let you have it.
Double smiley
A double smile if that’s even possible is basically overdoing expressing and ensuring that everything is okay, when it possibly may be a distraction in avoiding the likelihood of not doing well, but not wanting others to feel bad about it.
Eye roller
An eye-roller can easily fall into the smirk category, but we all know it too well as being an annoyance. What can usually get this expression activated is waiting around longer than usual for that dexamethasone pill to get clearance to fill, after waiting too long for your blood work to come back as cleared to begin treatment. I would usually get revved up in doing everything I was supposed to do but still being met with the inevitable glitches that would make my time in treatment a hassle on some days.
Confused
You know that look when we were given the words blood cancer? “How can this be? I work out, give to charities, and eat my vegetables”. The confusion of it all when told the process of what your chemotherapy will entail, and sign this and sign that; it can be a whirlwind of mixed feelings.
Tear with a smile
Though the process seems discouraging and overwhelming, sometimes we can see the light at the end of that muddled tunnel. At times those tears are not about our situation, but actually hitting those milestones that we didn’t think we would. To be able to attend that special wedding, graduation, baptism, well it most definitely opens the floodgates for tears of joy and a smile.
Winking
So despite the variety of changing faces we show, we can easily sum them up with a wink. The wink of “I’m good hun”. This by no means is a come-on expression, but a reassurance that despite this "stuff", I got this! Maybe we can even add a smile with that wink which we usually do.
The time to fight is now, with integrity, grace, hope, and a smile….when you feel like it
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