My Body, My Anchor
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise
The plights we go through in blood disorders and such - is there any inkling of the amazement in what our bodies endure? Yet, we’re still here to fight another day. I thought of the small verse from the incomparable Maya Angelou because, despite whatever, we can blossom through even when we’re feeling down for the count.
Weathering the storms
Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and in wonderment and think “How is it possible that I made it through so many storms?" I’ll always give praise to my husband and the many that have stood by me on this rocky road of multiple myeloma, but I can’t neglect in mentioning that my body has also taken a hit, yet is the anchor of what is me. We’ve gone through the most and I guess will continue to do so until the gig is finally up. We’ve been best friends and sometimes enemies when we didn’t see eye to eye.
Whether it was the processing of the words “you have...” or the constant inquiries of how are those cocktails meds doing and relying on my body to be truthful in the experience. Remember, when we experienced those horrid night leg spasms that contorted my body like he exorcist? How about those chemo shots in the stomach every week? We’ve done it all with care and precision in weathering this confusing and at times unfair storm.
"Without you, there’s no me"
It’s a no brainer that without you, there’s no me and vice versa. We’re all partners through thick and thin; the fact that we work this partnership through together speaks plenty. The tears and high anxieties we beat, as well as the leaping and wide ocean as Miss Maya mentioned. The teamwork was and is immeasurable. I’m grateful that we both put in the work to beat it, or at most keep it at bay while we continue doing what we do best and that is living life to the fullest.
So, like so many people who have moved towards the next stage of their treatment plans and hopefully with their numbers improved; let’s discuss how this partnership needs to move along. Fitness and diet have always been something to consider when we were younger and carefree, but even more so now. We need to work out a program that we’re continuously mindful of keeping our engine moving. Though we think about what happens if myeloma becomes active again, we know that we have each other to figure it out. We’ve done pretty well so far pushing through the pain and breakdowns but this bond is for the long haul. Still, we swim and fight in the abyss of uncertainty with the help of you my body my anchor.
The time to fight is now, with integrity, grace, hope, and a smile….when you feel like it
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