Bad Blood

By Deb Wesloh

2 min read

On an idle, rainy Saturday, I started thinking about the phrase “bad blood.” The Bad Blood title, per my Google research, is used in a number of forums in music, books, and TV.

The first thing that pops up in the search engine, and the one I most often associate with Bad Blood is the song released in 2014 by Taylor Swift. In 2012, Bastille’s released a song by the same name. There was TV drama series, inspired by true events, portraying the life and death of Montreal mob boss Vito Rizzuto. A story filled with greed, rivalry and revenge.

The only reference not related to a bad relationship was a book called Bad Blood about a startup company’s fraud in Silicon Valley. The company called Theranos developed an at-home blood test which did not work.

Why do I care about bad blood?

So why do I have a fascination with bad blood? Why am I spending my day searching Google? Mostly it's because I have “bad blood.” No, I don’t have bad feelings about my former lover or have mob connections. What I’m referring to is the blood flowing through my veins, like the stuff Dracula would like to suck (although, because it’s bad, Dracula wouldn’t even want it).

I have a rare, incurable, chronic blood cancer called polycythemia vera or PV. In 2016, I was diagnosed with this condition after a routine lab test showed that most of my blood levels were abnormally elevated. It came as a complete surprise as at the time I exhibited no symptoms and considered myself the picture of health.

PV causes my bone marrow to produce too many red blood cells and this makes my blood thick. Therefore, my “bad blood” increases my risk of heart attack, stroke, or blood clots significantly.

It also makes my blood tests, which unfortunately I partake in every month, out of whack. My Complete Blood Count or CBC, with its hematocrit, hemoglobin, platelets, red and white blood cell count are usually elevated. Finally, there is also about a 10 percent chance this cancer can progress to a more serious cancer called myelofibrosis and a slightly less percent chance of leukemia.

My symptoms are mild in comparison to some with this cancer. They consist of headaches, fatigue, and itching. Fortunately, my prognosis is good. I have an effective treatment plan that mostly keeps these levels in check.

My Own "Bad Blood" Song

Since I wasn’t able to find anything relatable to my bad blood I thought I’d come up with my own song, titled, of course, Bad Blood.

PV gives me bad blood, bad blood
This can make it thick as mud
Now my blood levels are high
How I got it, don’t know why

PV gives me bad blood, bad blood
And my arteries are plugged
Life with PV is a chore
Want to show it to the door

PV gives me bad blood, bad blood
And I always feel like crud
PV, I wish you’d go away
Hate living with you each day

No tune yet, but perhaps it would make a great rap song. Maybe I could even release it and make millions. That's probably not going to happen but I sure wish my bad blood would go away.

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Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
I feel you have a future in song writing. Very clever. I'm learning more about PV through a close friend of mine. It's interesting because we worked together for many years and she has PV and I have CML. Hmmmm. It's frustrating not knowing what may be the cause and having to accept it sticking with you. Hope you are continuing to manage it as best you can and thank you for spreading the word. Susan (Blood-Cancer.com Team Member)
Katelynn Bauer Moderator & Contributor
Hi Deb! I love your sense of humor, I was actually in a production of Dracula while I had blood cancer and now I'm wondering if he could even be bothered to suck my blood if he knew haha! I'm educating myself on all of the different types of blood cancer and I was surprised to see itchy skin was associated with PV. The more you know. Thank you for sharing, I think your point about bad blood being associated with so many other things in pop culture was interesting. You're absolutely right! I'm glad your prognosis is showing good signs, but I'm sorry that you're having to deal with the icky side effects. I do hope you find that you have more good days then bad, and please keep us updated on how things go. Warm wishes, Katelynn (Blood-cancer.com Team Member)
Daniel Malito Moderator
<inline-mention user-id="3642132" username="Deb Wesloh"/> It always amazes me how creative our community is, and you are right at the head of that line! It was always fascinating hearing about your music adventures. However many ways we can express those feelings inside, the better! Keep on keepin' on, DPM
Connie Connely Contributor
Good article, Deb! I love your song.
Ramae Hamrin Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention user-id="3642132" username="Deb Wesloh"/> I had never heard of PV before I started writing here. It's so weird how all of our blood cancers are so different. Many of my blood values are below normal every month. Sounds like both of us deal with fatigue though! I love the song! Sometimes it helps me to do things like that to keep thoughts about living with blood cancer from getting too heavy (as if that's possible at times). I think you should put your song to music and post a video! 😊 Enjoyed your article very much .... Ramae
Ann Harper Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention user-id="3642132" username="Deb Wesloh"/> many things remind me of songs and songs remind me of many things, and now I will think of you when I hear those words. I like your verses, and who knows... Thanks for sharing.