woman sitting alone on a couch looking sadly at her phone

Some People Just Can’t Deal with Cancer

Before Crystal came home, she had been in a relationship. It wasn’t a good one. That was bad enough, but when she found out she had cancer at age 25, he was not only unsupportive, but he broke up with her. This broke my heart.

A caregiver cannot take away the hurt of lost relationships

I felt awful for my daughter, and while she was better off without him, it was a lot all at once for her to have to handle. I knew only time could heal her emotionally. I felt helpless because there was nothing I could do about it. She had to get past this along with trying to fight her cancer battle. I hated him for adding to her stress. I still have no use or respect for him, but at least he is no longer in her life and I'm glad he's gone.

Discovering that not everyone will be supportive

Crystal found out the hard way that not everyone can or will be supportive. We all have our problems and some of us just cannot take on someone else’s issues. That’s ok, but it’s not ok to be mean. It's always nice to visit someone who is stuck at home and feeling down. Bringing them small gifts or a meal is also great. Even a call every now and then would be helpful.

A mixed bag of reactions to cancer

A lot of people reached out to Crystal and sent well wishes. Some of these people were old friends, family, and people she didn’t even know. But there were also people she didn’t hear from. Of course, this hurt her, but she had bigger things to worry about at the time. Luckily, she is better now and has moved on with her life. I don’t know how often she thinks about those people who weren’t there for her, but I do know she has come to terms with it and doesn’t let it ruin her life. She realizes everyone had their own issues and some people just won't hang around when the going gets tough.

Focusing on yourself and your health, not on other people's problems

Know there are many kinds of people out there. Some have so many problems of their own that they cannot be there for you. Some people are just mean and some just don’t care. Don’t let it get to you or get you down. You have to focus on yourself and getting well. Don’t let those people who couldn't even take the time to give you a call take up any of your time. They have already shown that they cannot handle the situation you are dealing with or that your needs are not important to them. You will find other people that are worth your time. For now, just try to focus on yourself and getting better. Everything will fall into place later.

I'm not trying to be mean as I write this post. It's just that there is already so much you have to deal with. Allowing your attention to be placed on someone who is not able to give back just takes away from your healing process. It will all work out and that’s all you need to focus on!

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