The Halfway Mark

Having cancer is never a good thing, but no matter how bad something may seem, there are always a few good days and something to look forward to. During Crystal’s treatments, we had a few hallmark days of our own. One of them was the day when we were halfway through her chemo regimen. There were two reasons that was a good day.

Light at the end of the Hodgkin lymphoma treatment tunnel

One was because we were now on the downward slide and she only had 6 more treatments to go. Each time we went for treatments, we counted them down but now we were halfway there! If you are getting chemo or are a caregiver, you know what I’m talking about. We were excited that the end was getting closer.

Is the chemo working?

The other reason was that she could now be retested to see if the chemo was working. If it was, there was a chance she might not have to do all of the treatments. This was something we had been looking forward to for a while and now she would have the opportunity to see how her body was responding to treatment. This did not turn out to be the case for us. The doctor said most of the cancer had been killed, but there was still a spot that looked suspicious. So we ended up doing all 12 rounds. Crystal still had six treatments to go, but now we looked at it as, "Only six more to go!"

Caregiver fears and worries

Knowing Crystal only had six more treatments to gave us so much more hope that the end of treatments was near. At first, when Crystal went for chemo treatments, we would think twelve more, eleven more etc. Each time we went to the hospital and Crystal got treatment, I hated it. All I could think about was the poison going into her veins and what that must be doing to her... and we still had more to go! I know what I saw happening to my daughter on the outside wasn’t good, but what about inside her body? I just hoped it wasn’t doing too much damage.

At first I considered the chemo to be a lifesaver, because the doctor said Hodgkin lymphoma was extremely curable, but it came with such a huge cost. The cost was Crystal's health and well-being. She was sick at least half of the time between treatments and she had to move away from all of her friends. But the worst part for me was having to take her to the hospital to check on fevers, get her rehydrated, or make sure she had all the different medicines they prescribed. I was worried about her liver, whether or not she would be able to have a baby one day, and how her white blood cell count was holding up.

Look for the good days when you can

So for me, even though Crystal still had six more treatments, I thought of it as she only had six more to go. As a mom, you just want to see your daughter be well and thriving again. We did eventually get there, but it was a very bumpy road. My suggestion would be to look for those good days and enjoy them thoroughly. You will have them and before you know it, treatments will be done.