Giving Up The Wig

By Ann Harper

2 min read

Everything about you is combined to make you the unique person you are. It starts the day you were born with all your genes combining in a special way to start life and allow you to grow into who you are now. But it doesn’t end there. Each experience you encounter helps to shape you and give you new perspectives on life. So it is the way you look, feel, and interpret information that gives you, you and that person is changing all the time. And then cancer is thrown into the mix and you’ve changed yet again.

Cancer is a terrible and scary disease. It is made even scarier when it affects your young daughter and you see the effects it has on her. When Crystal got cancer, she was just starting a new career as a TV meteorologist and was excited to be living near Virginia Beach. It was an exciting area and an exciting job. She was already being invited to be part of different groups, she got to do interviews with some of the local folks and businesses, and she was starting to make a few friends. But then cancer hit and she came home to do her treatments. She still did segments from home giving the viewers updates on her status, but then she started to lose her hair.

Starting to lose her hair

As I stated earlier, each and every part of us makes us who we are. Crystal was young, single, and had a job where she was very visible. Losing her hair was devastating to her. Together we went wig shopping. Crystal was still under my insurance and was able to get a free wig. She also bought one from a friend of hers that had a wig shop, and she got two from the American Cancer Society. This helped her immensely to feel more like herself, but she hated wearing the wigs. It was summer and the wigs were hot, but she wore them anyway. Crystal had had long pretty hair and that hair was part of what made her who she was.

Time went on, her treatments ended and she got a clean bill of health. Now it was time for Crystal to go back to work, armed with her wigs and the bits of hair that had started to grow back. The thing is, she couldn’t wear that wig forever so as time passed, her hair grew more, and she decided it was time for it to go.

Being free of cancer

Because Crystal had such a public job and because all the viewers had been so supportive, she decided to take off her wig on air. It was an extremely hard thing to do because those wigs had helped her to keep some resemblance of her old self and she was ripping that away. Tears were shed as her new self was exposed and a weight was lifted because she could now also be free of that piece that was a reminder of cancer.

Crystal is doing wonderful now. She has a special person in her life that she cares deeply for, she has a new job prospect that she is looking into, and she is happy. Unfortunately, cancer helped to shape who she is today, but she has grown so much from it. Crystal had to give up her wig, but she took everything that wig helped with and grew from it. In life, that’s the most we can hope for.

Wishing you health & happiness!

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Susan Gonsalves Moderator & Contributor
Thank you for sharing that story. Before I was diagnosed with leukemia, I was supporting a friend with breast cancer. I went wig shopping with her and remember trying to reassure her and compliment her and how much of a lift it gave her along with when her boyfriend told her how great and cute she looked in the wigs. I have a number of other memories of this time. One time, this same friend came to my house without hair, wearing a baseball cap. When she took it off, I was in the middle of a conversation with her and just carried on with it. Afterwards, she said, thank you! She was so grateful that I was treating her normally with or without hair. Of course I told her she was the same person no matter what she looked like. But it dawned on me then how important hair is to a person's confidence and persona. Now with CML, I've lost a lot of hair and it has thinned out and changed color. I used to worry about it in the beginning but not so much now. I try to tell myself I'm the same person no matter what my hair is like now. 
1. Ann Harper Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Susan Gonsalves" user-id="3653135"/> I totally agree with you. Hair or not, we are still the same person. But it can be a blow to our self esteem. It was for Crystal at first, but she adjusted. She now knows she looks nice with short hair, but she is not ready to cut her hair just yet. It is growing in nicely and even has a bit more curl to it. She wants to enjoy her length for now since it took so much time for her to get here. Thanks for reading.
Ramae Hamrin Moderator & Contributor
What timing! I was just in the shower, washing my hair and remembering the shower a few years ago when I first noticed when my hair beginning to fall out. I was not as young as Crystal, but I was in my 40's and felt too young to be bald. Like Crystal, I had signature long hair, so I was losing a major part of my identity at the time. I shopped for wigs but never found one that felt like me (I had long, thick ringlets), so I wore chemo cap style headbands. Even though my hair is in a ponytail now, I'm still wearing them because they're cute and stylish and hide messy hair. But in the shower this morning I was just thinking about how I really didn't want to lose my hair again. I understand that it's hair, it's not life, but I am grateful every day to be able to finally, after a couple years, put it up in a ponytail. I wasn't afraid to show people my bald head. My kids and friends got used to it, and in many ways I enjoyed the ease of it. It was a wonderful exercise in letting go for me, as it was for Crystal. But, if I have my preference, I'll hang onto it.
Ann Harper Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Ramae Hamrin" user-id="3651272"/> The two of you went through pretty similar issues. She also got used to not wearing anything, but when she was around people she didn't know, the wig came out. It was a comfort to her. Now her hair is back. She has thought about cutting it because short was cute and a lot easier, but she has worked hard to get her hair back to a nice length and is not willing to cut it. I'm glad you have your hair back and can wear it in a ponytail. That was a huge milestone for Crystal. Thank you for reading.
Daniel Malito Moderator
<inline-mention username="Ann Harper" user-id="3637920"/> A poignant story and if I remember correctly, there's a video of it floating around somewhere? I think I saw it, forgive me if I'm thinking of a different one. It was a courageous thing to do in front of so many people, but it probably helped so many to tell their own stories and, after all, isn't that what we are all trying to do. Thanks for sharing, keep on keepin' on, DPM
1. lizgreen Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="Daniel Malito" user-id="3641972"/> @Daniel Malito yes, such a powerful story and you make a great point about how one story can lead to many more. You may be referring to this Youtube video here - <a href='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lbvn70V95I' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lbvn70V95I</a>. - Liz (Team Member)
2. Ann Harper Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="lizgreen" user-id="3647466"/> I just rewatched the video and it brought tears to my eyes. This was such an emotional thing for Crystal to do and it was so hard. I give her so much credit for being so strong. Thank you for finding it and sharing.
Daniel Malito Moderator
<inline-mention username="lizgreen" user-id="3647466"/> <inline-mention username="Ann Harper" user-id="3637920"/> Yes, that's the one! It is a great, sad, poignant, courageous moment! Thanks for finding it and thanks to Crystal for doing it!