Never the Simple Way

Never the Simple Way

It would appear as time goes on that I rarely do things the simple or ‘normal’ way. I don’t even get the ‘right’ cancer for my age and sex. Life is always a bit complicated with me. I don’t think I go out of my way to choose or attract it… maybe I do.

At school, I never wanted to be like everyone else. I always wanted to be a little bit different and I suppose adult me has really ticked this box!

Being my own boss

I was thinking about this over the weekend. Having a job that very few in the UK understand. Deciding to do my own thing and not work for another. Being my own boss has huge pluses. My time is mine. I can do what I can achieve, or at least, aim to. It doesn’t matter that I get to my desk at 11. I don’t have to constantly explain to someone why I can’t do a normal day like others because of my treatment. I don’t need to arrange time off for the hospital. If it all gets too much I can go home and crash on the sofa. These are all huge pluses.

I also don’t advertise my health with my work.  I don’t want to be yet another therapist who was ill with something, found a therapy that fixed them, they train in it, and then go out to fix everyone else.  I haven’t ‘fixed’ myself, and I am not a Naturopath because of my cancer.  It found me when I was unhappy in another job and ticked all the boxes of what I care about.  Sometimes, I think I should mention that I live with cancer because I would get so many more followers on social media, and possibly get press and PR because of it.

But then, my life and cancer is my private life. I certainly wouldn’t want potential clients reading my brain vomit of how I am struggling with life. Why would they come to me if I can’t cope?!

The downside of being my own boss

I have also chosen to work on my own – to set up my own business rather than working for someone else.  I can do what I feel is right for me, which is great in so many ways.  But the downside. Well, it’s just me doing everything. And that’s exhausting. I get frustrated that I could do so much more…

Maybe I should have been a lawyer, or civil servant, and gone down a more normal route.  But then would it really be me if it was simple and straightforward?

I know that not doing everything the simple way has been my choice for many areas of my life.  Well, my choice within the limits I have forced on me by my health.  But I love what I do. And when I get an email from someone saying how I have helped when others haven’t…  well, that makes all the complication worth it.  I’m just hoping that soon, the bookings will be so that I don’t have to worry about not having a ‘normal’ job. That my income will be regular enough for me to relax about that.  And then maybe I’ll focus on sorting out my love life. Which is another car crash…