Guilty Pleasures

Living on the edge of mindfulness can be a downer at times, and that is because you may feel hindered in living it up. When this plague of can't and must not are now in our new vocabulary, it can feel like we no longer have a say in living life to the fullest. The days of just doing whatever and living free still show possibilities, but we now have to be aware. Guilty pleasures, whether at play or food indulges hold a whole new enjoyment when blood cancer is involved.

Party all the time

The days of a good club and 6” heels seem like a dip in the past. The time it would take to look cute while getting the proper outfit in sync was fun. Here comes multiple myeloma, the cuteness is still the mission but care to the shoe height, joint pain, and fatigue can indeed spoil the party. Moving from one end of the club to another was never a breeze with a crowded room, but think of the hassle when you have to now consider:

  • Uncomfortable shoes (pressing lytic lesion lower back)
  • Fatigue after 2 songs
  • Limited alcohol (if any)

Yes, that party seems like a playbook of the past. It’s actually not, you just have to do things a bit differently.

Should I or shouldn’t I?

Though I’m on the fitness kick, there are those thoughts of just going wild in having that piece of cake along with a few scoops of ice cream. I mean I can double the workout tomorrow, right? Hum, well that’s when the thought of will fatigue show out, or will I be in the clear? Better yet, will I want to be bothered at all? I mean what’s a piece of cake and some ice cream when living with multiple myeloma? The idea of still having taste buds to enjoy any food says a lot. A few nights ago I contemplated should I stay up later than usual after watching television or just go to bed? Though rest is necessary or some form of a nap or good night rest; does it really matter? I decided to stay up and watch that program, while still alert with my early morning rising. The guilty pleasure of just doing seems to be more on my playlist lately.

After living on the edge literally, I’m okay with satisfying those splurges of pleasure, here’s a list I want to continue filling:

  • Eating that pack of honey mustard Pringles potato chips (as we know “once you pop you can’t stop”)
  • Staying in my pajamas on a Saturday
  • Checking out my favorite clothing websites for sales

I say all this to say, if you feel it then go for it, as long as there's no harm to you or anyone else. There will be those days when you’ve had it up to here with the process of what comes with beating cancer to survive. However, as long as we consider those guilty pleasures it gives us a little of what to look out for on the good days.

The time to fight is now, with integrity, grace, hope, and a smile….when you feel like it

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