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When I Open My Eyes

The mound of hope, pain, and uncertainty is high for so many. There are so many things we can count our blessings on, in light of circumstances. When I open my eyes, I’m so grateful for yet another day, even if that day consists of aches and pain. Today I received disturbing news of a friend’s spouse who has been placed in hospice, after a long battle with cancer. I stood on the other end of the phone just shaking my head, as this could easily be me. One thing I will continue to stress is, taking life for granted in the present is not acceptable, because in an instant our stories can change drastically.

Timeline

It’s conversations like the one I had earlier that makes me even more gung-ho in doing what I feel a calling to do. Becoming a patient advocate was not in the pages of my success story, nor was multiple myeloma. I’ve been able to adapt and have myeloma work around things I still have a calling to do. We may have blood cancer, yes, but in no way should we treat this disease as it has treated us… until it has us. I think those who go through cancer understand that statement a bit more deeply.  There’s so much to do and such a short time, but we give it our all in fighting for our family, and more so for us in beating this. When I open my eyes, making it through another morning to do this all again is a step towards continuing the fight, whether it’s good or bad.

Little things

Two weeks ago we fell into an arctic blast here in the states. One particular morning I scurried around doing whatever and heard a bird singing from outside my window. It was a light tweet but I caught it and grasped its significance. I know many may not be in acceptance of what they may have going on or may be having a hard time coping, but hearing this bird outside my window was very symbolic. It was symbolic because I can hear things that I would overlook before. A bird singing and me noticing it allowed me to engage with life. I so love my growth, even through getting diagnosed with myeloma. I could have done without the myeloma, but I think of things more seriously than I suppose I did before. When I open my eyes, I say “thank you for another day… I made it“.

When I Open My Eyes

Speaking with my friend and having a very deep conversation, as the “planning” begins for my friend’s spouse, I thought how easily that could and can be me. When I open my eyes, I can walk, talk, move, laugh, cry, cuss, be emotional, empathetic, and sympathetic. When I open my eyes I can keep this thing that I’m doing which is living as a multiple myeloma survivor… by all means necessary.

The time to fight is now, with integrity, grace, hope, and a smile….when you feel like it

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Comments

View Comments (10)
  • Dowbert
    2 days ago

    Thank you so much your post. I needed to hear this today. I begin the process for stem cell harvest tomorrow. Tonsay the least I’m a little nervous and everything is making me cry. We just dropped our 15 year old daughter off at our oldest daughters home. She’ll be staying with her for our time in Kansas City during the transplant. Thanks again for your post!

  • Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo moderator author
    2 days ago

    @dowbert I’m so glad you were able to read this before your harvest tomorrow. I had mine done a few years back and it was daunting but impressive as they were able to get cells in a shorter time than projected. I’m wishing you positive vibes tomorrow my friend. Best!

  • Crystal Harper moderator
    2 days ago

    I wish everyone had this same appreciation for life. A cancer diagnosis also helped remind me to stop and smell the roses (or listen to the birds chirp), but I wish it didn’t take cancer to make me change the way I looked at things. While I don’t feel lucky for getting cancer of course, I do feel lucky to have a new perspective on life. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo moderator author
    2 days ago

    Crystal, you’re so very welcome. I truly believe having an open outlook on the situation helps move many in a positive way in their cancer journey. The very best to you!

  • Ann Harper moderator
    6 days ago

    You have such a positive attitude and zest for life. Having cancer does help you to appreciate life more. It’s too bad we didn’t enjoy the little things more before getting sick.

  • Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo moderator author
    3 days ago

    Thank you @annharper and so true, but we learn to move ahead in this new day. At this point there’s no room to look back on the should have, but the do now.

  • Ann Harper moderator
    3 days ago

    So well said and so true!

  • Daniel Malito moderator
    1 week ago

    @yolandabrunson-sarrabo Great post as always. Being confronted with the worst-case sceanrio of our own illness, our nortality, is always more difficult when it hits close to home. In more ways than one. Keep on keepin’ on, DPM

  • Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo moderator author
    1 week ago

    Thank you. It’s always the case when we’re hit in the face with adversity, do we see things in a different life. Happy you enjoyed. Best!

  • Ann Harper moderator
    3 days ago

    Again, so true.

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