It's Been A While

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Mainly because I’d run out of different ways to write about being tired. L. O. L. Z. So I thought it was time for an update.

First one, due to our friend ‘Rona, I’m not allowed to come off treatment in November. Which is really f*****g annoying. Because my energy is getting worse. I also started home exercises again this week. Nothing crazy. And this weekend I have been wiped and not feeling great. Because I’m tired. I really hope it’s not the exercise, but a week of not enough sleep and the weather changing.

I am going to persevere with the exercises as I’m fed up with not liking certain parts of my appearance and because I am aware of the health implications of not exercising. I’m really good at getting in a long, fairly fast-paced walk basically every day, but I don’t use more of my muscles and that’s not good. This also ties into what’s going to happen next spring when I am allowed off treatment.....

*DRUM ROLL*

I’m going to have a baby! So I want to do everything I can to be in a good place physically for that. I’m also doing all my naturopathic stuff alongside and have started an Instagram account for that, if interested. It’s called hopeful_baby_diary and a WordPress blog as well which also has the same name. Having said that, I’m not sure if I’m allowed to promote that on here.

I was first told it would be Spring, rather than November in July and initially, I was really irritated and frustrated by it, but now I have had time to process, so springtime it shall because of winter and the double whammy of seasonal flu and ‘Rona. The reason it’s been pushed back to then isn’t because my consultant is worried about my health, but if there is another lockdown then the clinics will shutdown and she’s not comfortable with me being off treatment and not being monitored as I will in all likelihood be going to my haematology clinic every 2 weeks for a leukaemic rate blood check to monitor that.

And once the baby stuff really gets going, I’ll be in really frequently as it’s looking like it will be IVF, but that’s fine as I always thought it would be like this. I had eggs frozen when I was 22 and remember going in daily for a bit so no doubt that will all be similar again. So having an IVF baby isn’t a shock, which is a good thing.  I’ve had 13 years to get my head around the fact that being a mother will be a very medical process for me.

Only time will tell

The big question is, am I doing it with the man I have mentioned before?! Well, I don’t know. At the moment it’s not looking likely so I will be doing it on my own. But there is still time for that decision to be made, and who knows? Maybe by February/March next year, things will be different. Well thinking about it, it will either be us together or everything vaguely us being completely over.

Time will tell.

I very much work in everything happens for a reason, so whatever route I go down will be the right one.

So at the moment it’s very much, 'watch this space!' on all things. And I’m just focusing on definitely coming off treatment in the spring, being able to carry on with home exercises, baby and him.

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