Bringing Back a Memory

Today, I had to go to the city to get a check-up with a new doctor. Whenever I go into the city, I have a little tradition that I follow. I go to the Juice Press to get a smoothie and get a bagel at Ess'a Bagels (this place has a line down the block, but is always worth the wait). It gives me something to look forward to and takes my mind off the appointments I have scheduled. This tradition was started right around the time Crystal got Hodgkin lymphoma. Since then, every time I go into the city, I think about the first day Crystal got chemo.

A flashback of the first chemo treatment

The first day Crystal got treatment was a beautiful, sunny day. We were both in good spirits and were being silly as we walked toward the hospital. We were keeping it light and doing silly videos for Crystal's Facebook followers. We were both enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells from the street vendors working that day. We decided to stop at the Juice Press and get a smoothie. This is a totally organic juice bar, and I love it there. I think this may have been Crystal's first time. The Juice Press has funny little cards that were amusing us and added some fun to her videos and pictures. When we left, we continued to enjoy our drinks and time together as we made our way to the appointment. We were both trying to avoid thinking about what was to come.

We finally made it to the hospital and during treatment, we continued the silliness, neither of us knowing what to expect, or what was to come. Surprisingly, the first treatment seemed to go well. We made friends with the nurse who patiently explained everything she was doing and answered all of our questions. We felt at ease and even started a countdown for Crystal's 12 treatments. After the infusions were over, we decided to go out to eat and that's when it all turned bad.

Side effects after treatment

As we were finishing up our meal, Crystal started to feel the side effects of the chemo. It was a quick downhill turn and we had to walk (because I couldn't get a cab to stop) back to the bus and then she had to endure the long ride home.

That first treatment was horrible and has made lasting impressions on both of us. Whenever I go to the city and stop at the Juice Press, that memory comes back. I was so scared and worried if she would be ok on the ride home. I didn't know what to do for her and didn't know how bad it would get. It was a traumatizing experience for me and I can only imagine how it was for Crystal. What I do know is, even to this day, Crystal can't drink a smoothie. The thought of one still turns her stomach.

It sometimes amazes me how something, someone, or someplace can bring a memory back full force. I'm so happy Crystal is better now, but the ordeal she went through will forever have a lasting impression in my mind.

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